BLAKE'S 7
32. "City at the Edge of the World"
by Chris Boucher
Copyright 1979 by the British Broadcasting Corporation. Series created by
Terry Nation. This is a complete dialogue transcript for research
purposes and is not for sale under any circumstances. Format copyright 1992
by Patricia Evans and Micky DuPree.
Dramatis Personae
Kerr Avon Paul Darrow
Cally Jan Chappell
Vila Restal Michael Keating
Del Tarrant Steven Pacey
Dayna Mellanby Josette Simon
Orac Peter Tuddenham
Kerril Carol Hawkins
Bayban Colin Baker
Norl Valentine Dyall
Sherm John J. Carney
Male Voice (uncredited) Valentine Dyall
[Liberator teleport facility]
TARRANT: Come on, Vila, you don't mean that.
VILA: I know what I mean, and what I mean is no.
TARRANT: At least think about it. [pushes Vila] Think about it.
VILA: All right. [pauses] I've thought about it. No.
TARRANT: I can't make you go, of course.
VILA: That's right, you can't.
TARRANT: But I can toss you off this ship.
VILA: What?
TARRANT: You're no use to me.
VILA: I don't have to be any use to you. I was here first. I was
with Blake. I've more right on this ship than you have.
TARRANT: "Right"? No one survives as long as you have, Vila, without
learning the facts of life.
VILA: The facts of life are that I --
TARRANT: [interrupting] -- are that I can dump you any time. The others
wouldn't stop me. And you couldn't, could you? Now I suggest you
reconsider your decision. But don't take too long. I'm not a
patient man.
VILA: All my life, for as long as I can remember, there's been
people like you.
TARRANT: And I thought I was unique.
VILA: You're not even unusual, Tarrant. I'll need my equipment.
TARRANT: I'll get it for you.
VILA: You stay here. Check the teleport coordinates. At least you
can't bully a machine into doing what you want.
[Vila leaves as Cally enters, carrying a device]
CALLY: What's wrong with Vila?
TARRANT: I scared him a little.
CALLY: That must have been difficult.
TARRANT: I had no choice, Cally. We've got to have those crystals for
the weaponry system.
CALLY: So we do a swap, they give us the crystals, we give them Vila.
TARRANT: They only want his help.
CALLY: Then why are they insisting that he goes down alone?
TARRANT: I don't know, maybe outsiders make them nervous.
CALLY: Did you?
[Avon enters]
TARRANT: Me? Who could be nervous of me?
CALLY: Only Vila, it seems.
TARRANT: We've no reason to think they'll harm him.
AVON: And less reason to care? [to Cally] Have you got the locator?
[Cally gives him the device]
TARRANT: What locator? They stipulated no surveillance devices.
AVON: So you said.
TARRANT: I gave them my word.
AVON: You didn't give them mine.
TARRANT: Now you tell me.
AVON: Are you seriously suggesting we send him down there without a
tracer?
TARRANT: No, I'm seriously suggesting we try and make sure they don't
detect it.
AVON: They won't. [to Orac] Well.
ORAC: 'Well' is not a question.
AVON: Is it working?
ORAC: The tracer is between the index and second finger of your left
hand.
AVON: [holds up small disc] Thank you, Orac.
VILA: [entering] Let's get on with it, then.
AVON: No last minute protests, no sudden illnesses?
VILA: Look, I have to go down, he made that very clear. But I don't
have to take any rubbish about it from you, all right?
AVON: All right. Take this. [offers Vila the disc]
VILA: What is it? Slow-acting poison?
CALLY: It's a tracer. Orac can locate it and tell us exactly where you
are at any time.
VILA: I'm not swallowing that.
AVON: It's perfectly harmless. It dissolves eventually.
VILA: Your hands clean?
AVON: Just take it. [Vila takes the disc]
Orac, have you found us a name for this place yet?
ORAC: No definite records exist. I have however found an obscure
archeological treatise which suggests the ancestors of the
present inhabitants may have called their planet Kezarn.
VILA: Wonderful. I'm going to die on a planet that hasn't even
got a name any more.
TARRANT: Ready?
VILA: Does it make any difference?
TARRANT: They're simple, completely unaggressive people, Vila. You'll be
quite safe.
VILA: I've only got your word for that.
TARRANT: Trust me.
VILA: Yeah.... Put me down. [Vila is teleported]
AVON: I don't know how you persuaded him to go, Tarrant.
TARRANT: I appealed to his better nature.
AVON: He hasn't got one. Leave him alone in future.
TARRANT: Or?
AVON: Do you want me to threaten you?
TARRANT: Why not? I haven't had a good laugh in ages.
AVON: Sensible. You could die laughing.
CALLY: Why are you suddenly so protective towards Vila?
AVON: He's irritating, but he's useful. We can easily replace a
pilot, but a talented thief is rare.
TARRANT: I'd agree with that. So?
AVON: So frighten him too much, he's no use to anyone.
TARRANT: He wasn't that frightened.
CALLY: He was terrified. So terrified he might just get himself
killed because it's easier than going on.
TARRANT: I'll take that risk.
CALLY: It isn't yours to take.
[Dayna enters]
TARRANT: Look, without those crystals, the main blasters are useless.
Do you like being helpless, Cally?
CALLY: I don't know. I've never tried it.
VILA: [V.O.] Liberator. Come in Liberator.
AVON: Yes, Vila?
VILA: [V.O.] The crystals are here. You can come and get them now.
AVON: Well done, Vila.
DAYNA: Cally. [gives Cally a gun] Killing range is only two hundred,
so aim for the whites of their eyes.
TARRANT: No point in mentioning you're supposed to be unarmed?
CALLY: Put me down.
[Cally is teleported to the planet]
Down and safe. There's no one here.
TARRANT: [V.O.] Are you sure, Cally?
CALLY: Unless they're hiding. But why should they hide?
TARRANT: [V.O.] I don't know. Maybe outsiders --
CALLY: -- make them nervous? Yes, you said. I'm beginning to wonder
how you managed to negotiate with them at all.
TARRANT: [V.O.] Any sign of the box of crystals?
CALLY: Not yet.
TARRANT: [V.O.] Keep looking.
[Vila is walking with two natives, and sees buildings far away]
VILA: Is that where we're going? It's miles away. I mean why couldn't
I have teleported closer in? [pause] Hey? They say too much
walking's bad for you, you know. Makes you go deaf. Look what
it's done for you. Listen, sooner or later one of you's going
to have to speak to me. Well, speak to me one of you!
All right, that's it. No speak, no walk. My feet hurt and I
didn't want to come anyway. [sits] 'Course, I'm totally lost,
you realize that. Yes, of course you realize that. I don't
suppose you'd consider taking me back to where you met me.
No, of course you wouldn't. All right, you've talked me into it.
[gets up and walks]
[Cally approaches a box]
CALLY: There's a box here. And Vila's teleport bracelet.
AVON: [V.O.] Cally, it's Avon. Don't touch the box. I don't share
Tarrant's faith in simple, unaggressive people.
CALLY: Yes, I know.
[Cally moves away, shoots a rock face; rocks fall on the box,
which explodes. Cally teleports up.]
VILA: What was that? Sounded like an explosion. Was it an explosion?
Do you know what it was? Do you care what it was? Do I care
what it was? Why am I talking to myself like this? I wonder
what it was though.
[teleport facility]
DAYNA: They boobytrapped the box. Simple enough to do.
CALLY: They're a simple people, according to Tarrant.
AVON: And completely unaggressive. A slight exaggeration perhaps.
TARRANT: I don't understand it. I was sure we could trust them. I'd have
staked my life on it.
CALLY: You did stake Vila's.
TARRANT: Did I really? I'd forgotten.
CALLY: Now he hasn't even got a bracelet.
TARRANT: And that's my fault?
DAYNA: So we haven't got Vila and we haven't got the crystals. What's
our next brilliant move?
AVON: We persuade his simple unaggressive friends to part with
either or both.
TARRANT: WE don't; I do. Only this time I'll negotiate with a gun in my
hand.
AVON: Orac, can you give me a precise fix on that tracer?
ORAC: Of course I can.
AVON: Where is it then?
ORAC: Under the box which is ten centimetres from your right hand.
AVON: [lifts device and finds the disc] The stupid idiot.
CALLY: He palmed it.
DAYNA: That's not stupid, it's suicidal. Why would he do that?
TARRANT: Because he was scared witless. He didn't trust anyone. You
were right. I'm sorry, Cally.
CALLY: You're the only one who's met these people. where do you
think they've taken him?
DAYNA: What about that city?
TARRANT: No, they said it was a ruin. No one could remember when it was
built or even who built it. No one ever goes there. So they say.
AVON: We could wish for more reliable informants. Anything else?
TARRANT: There's a name, something unpronounceable, in what they told
me was a fragment of the old tongue.
AVON: A translatable fragment?
TARRANT: Apparently it means "The City at the Edge of the World".
[Vila is walking down a corridor]
VILA: The place is deserted. There's nobody here. The whole place
is -- [looks around, notices he is alone] deserted.
Hello? [echoes]
Anybody there? [echoes]
Come on, stop dawdling, will you. If this is meant to be a
joke, it's not funny! [echo of "not funny"]
[crackling explosion; Vila cowers on the ground]
VILA: I'll get you for this, Tarrant. I'll tear your arm off and
beat you to death with the wet end. I'll get you for this!
KERRIL: [points a gun at Vila] Have you finished? If talking got it
done, you'd be a real killer, wouldn't you?
VILA: Where did you come from?
KERRIL: Here and there. Mostly there. On your feet, killer. I said,
on your feet. Pick up your box and let's go, little man.
VILA: The name's Vila, and you can relax your gun arm, I'm not
looking for trouble.
KERRIL: What's the matter, killer, lost your nerve?
VILA: That's right. Pity I didn't lose my sense of smell as well.
KERRIL: What's that supposed to mean?
VILA: You should try taking a bath sometime, you smell terrible.
KERRIL: For someone who's lost his nerve, you take risks, little man.
VILA: You didn't go to all this trouble just to kill me.
KERRIL: Move.
VILA: Where?
KERRIL: [gestures with gun] There.
VILA: A mouthwash would be a good idea too.
KERRIL: Move. [another crackle] Move.
[a room; Norl watches Bayban and Sherm silently]
BAYBAN: You bubble-brained idiot. You stupid son of a slimecrawler.
SHERM: It wasn't my fault, Captain.
BAYBAN: "It wasn't my fault, Captain." Of course it was your fault.
"Oh, blow a hole in it, Captain." Blow a hole in it. Look at
it. [shot of door] It's not even dented. [touches his head]
It's the only thing that isn't.
SHERM: Well, it could have been worse.
BAYBAN: Not for you it couldn't, Sherm.
SHERM: Well I did my best.
BAYBAN: I know you did your best, Sherm. [points gun at Sherm] That's
why I can do without you.
SHERM: Please, Captain.
BAYBAN: Oh, stop sniveling, Sherm. You know I can't stand snivelers.
SHERM: It was his fault. He coulda told us how to open it. He's
been lyin' all along. He was laughin' behind your back. I saw him.
BAYBAN: What? Is that true, old man? No one laughs at Bayban. Take him
out and shoot him.
[Kerril and Vila enter]
KERRIL: Bayban, if you must kill somebody, kill him. [indicates Sherm]
[Sherm draws gun, Kerril shoots him]
VILA: Then again, you don't smell that bad.
BAYBAN: What took you so long? You must be Vila. It's an honour, sir.
VILA: The honour's mine.
BAYBAN: That's what I meant.
SHERM: [to Kerril] You better sleep with both eyes open from now on.
KERRIL: You should get together with Killer here, you make a good pair.
BAYBAN: I may have to get rid of Kerril. Be a pity, she's the best gun
hand I ever had, but, uh, she's got no team spirit, you know. And
you can't run an outfit like mine without team spirit.
VILA: What outfit is it exactly, if you don't mind me asking?
BAYBAN: Oh, I do mind you asking. I mind very much.
VILA: I can understand that. Uh, I'm sorry I mentioned it, I - I was
just making conversation. I've, um, brought my tools here.
What exactly is it you want me to do, just name it, I'm your man.
BAYBAN: You don't know who I am.
VILA: Absolutely not, no idea. You needn't worry about it, I won't
ask any questions.
BAYBAN: Small-time thief and failed revolutionary, and you don't know
who I am?
VILA: Ah. Well, if you put it like that, of course I know who you
are. You're -- you're, ah --
BAYBAN: Bayban.
VILA: Bayban, yes.
BAYBAN: Bayban the Beserker. Bayban the Butcher.
VILA: Bayban the Butcher . . . you're Bayban the Butcher! Oh, no.
BAYBAN: That's better.
VILA: You're top of the Federation's Most Wanted list -- after
Blake.
BAYBAN: What do you mean, "after Blake"? I was working my way up that
list before he crept out of his creche. WORKING my way up. I
didn't take any political shortcuts.
VILA: I know, I know. You have a reputation for straightforward
mayhem that's second to none. I've been an admirer of yours
for, um, well, for as long as I can remember. Well maybe not that
long, I mean, uh, you're not that old, are you? But, uh, then again,
you did start very young, didn't you? I think I feel sick.
KERRIL: So you should, little man. [leaves]
BAYBAN: Vila, I like a man who shows respect. You'll enjoy working for me.
VILA: Will I? Oh, yes, I will. Of course I will.
BAYBAN: Good. Well you can start by opening that door.
VILA: Now?
BAYBAN: Now.
VILA: [examines door] What's behind it?
SHERM: You don't need to know that.
VILA: I decide what I need to know.
SHERM: Yes?
VILA: Yes.
BAYBAN: I make the decisions 'round here.
VILA: The captain makes the decisions 'round here.
SHERM: Why, you -- [menaces Vila]
BAYBAN: Sherm! Vila, come here and sit down. Now I went to a lot of
trouble to get you here, and that is all the trouble I intend
to have. Now you will open that door, or I will open you
from there to there. [indicates Vila's neck with knife]
Right?
VILA: Right.
BAYBAN: Right.
VILA: [Rushing] But I still need to know what's in there! The key to
any security system is how it's designed! That depends on why
it was designed! I have to know what whoever designed it was
trying to protect!
[Kerril re-enters, puts down a bowl of food]
BAYBAN: [to Norl] Tell him.
NORL: We have told you.
BAYBAN: Tell HIM. Sherm, contact the stockade. Have the men kill two
more hostages.
NORL: No, wait.
BAYBAN: Yes.
NORL: It contains this world and the next.
SHERM: Same old stuff.
KERRIL: He's done as he was told.
SHERM: Two more corpses'll keep him in line.
KERRIL: No! You can push people too far.
SHERM: You should remember that.
KERRIL: I said people, not garbage.
SHERM: Garbage!
BAYBAN: Kerril -- Sherm -- out.
[Kerril and Sherm leave]
VILA: This world and the next? That could mean anything.
BAYBAN: Not anything, everything. There's nothing on this planet, Vila.
No precious metals, no gems, no wealth of any kind. And why?
Because it's all in there [indicates door]. This world.
VILA: And the next?
BAYBAN: Religious mumbo jumbo to keep the locals out. We had to kill
six of them before they'd even tell us it was there. And six
more to make sure they didn't know how to open it.
VILA: But what about the crystals you swapped for me? They're
valuable, where did they come from?
BAYBAN: They didn't.
VILA: The crystals in that box. There weren't any crystals in that
box, were there? So Tarrant did a deal with you without even
seeing the merchandise.
BAYBAN: Oh, not with me; with them. Tarrant didn't even know I was
here. But he did see a sample [shows Vila a crystal]. I've had
it for years. Lucky piece. Not so lucky for him though.
VILA: Wonderful. Me, he calls stupid.
BAYBAN: Not any more. Smile. You outlived him.
VILA: What?
BAYBAN: Well we couldn't let them go back empty handed, could we?
So we gave him a bomb to play with.
VILA: A bomb?
BAYBAN: Yes. Bang. You're dead. You know the sort of thing.
VILA: Cally.
BAYBAN: What do you say?
VILA: Can I ask you if you've tried to blast this?
BAYBAN: Blast it? We blasted it, burned it, drilled it, cut it. How long
do you need?
VILA: I don't know.
BAYBAN: You've got an hour. [to entering soldier] You -- out! Leave my man
in peace. [to Norl] And you. [Norl leaves] [to Vila] My mother --
VILA: Eh?
BAYBAN: Oh yes. I had a mother. Wonderful woman. Truly evil person.
She had a saying. "Baybe," she used to say. She called me Baybe.
"Baybe," she used to say, "treat every hour as though it's
your last." [puts food into Vila's mouth] I'll be back in an
hour, Vila. [slaps Vila on the back and leaves, laughing]
VILA: Tarrant, I hope you're satisfied.
[teleport facility]
TARRANT: I still don't see the logic.
AVON: Logic?
TARRANT: I know the ground. I made the contacts.
CALLY: They didn't take you to their village or even that city.
DAYNA: They deliberately kept you away from anything even vaguely
strategic.
AVON: Which makes your local knowledge very local indeed.
TARRANT: That's not the point.
AVON: No, the point is that Vila won't trust you, whereas he will trust
Cally and me.
TARRANT: Cally, yes, but why you?
AVON: Because he knows what I think of him.
TARRANT: You despise him.
AVON: Right. But at least I'm consistent about it. I know his value
to us, just as he knows mine. If we need any help, I'll let
you know.
TARRANT: Feel free.
CALLY: Just be ready.
DAYNA: We will, don't worry.
AVON: Put us down. [Avon and Cally teleport]
TARRANT: Thanks for your support, Dayna.
DAYNA: Well, they were right. If Vila saw you, who knows what he
might do. Run away, give the alarm --
TARRANT: I doubt that.
DAYNA: So do I. I think he'd try and kill you. [Smiles] That's what
I'd do.
[Avon and Cally are on the planet]
CALLY: Seems quiet enough.
AVON: The village should be in that direction.
CALLY: If Zen got it right.
AVON: It's a pity we're not all as reliable as Zen.
CALLY: But I thought you were.
[in the room. Vila examines the door while Kerril comes up
behind him]
VILA: That block isn't really a block at all. He was clever. He
could turn out to be the best I've come up against.
KERRIL: Who could?
VILA: The designer. My opponent. You see, there are two basic
approaches to security. Physical: locks and booby traps,
things designed to physically stop you getting in. Then there
is the psychological approach.
KERRIL: Like?
VILA: Like you put up a fence with a notice which says that the area
is impregnated with swamp fever and you'll get galloping knee-
rot if you try to go inside.
KERRIL: So which is this?
VILA: I'm working on it. [examines door with instrument] Zero zero two.
That is beautiful.
KERRIL: Is it?
VILA: An indestructible block. A combination of both the
psychological and the physical, one reinforcing the other.
Elegant, my friend, simply elegant.
KERRIL: So what is it?
VILA: Eh? Oh, it's just a simple forcefield.
KERRIL: I was right about you, another Sherm, all mouth. This is a solid
block, little man.
VILA: It's a forcefield. Set to refract light so that it appears solid.
Well naturally it feels solid, all forcefields do. Looks solid,
feels solid, so everybody treats it as solid. They bash, blast,
and burn it, and like all forcefields, whatever energy you push
into it, it chucks right back at you. For all energy input, there
has to be an equal and opposite energy output. Result -- an
indestructible block. The harder you hit it, the stronger it gets.
[sets up instrument] There.
KERRIL: What's that supposed to be?
VILA: A low energy probe.
KERRIL: What?
VILA: The energy threshold of this forcefield is zero zero two. Anything
more that zero zero two gets chucked back at you, right? This
will push a probe into the field very slowly. Maximum energy
zero zero one. When the probe reaches the door, the field will
collapse. Bye-bye block.
KERRIL: I'll believe it when I see it.
VILA: It'll take about forty-five minutes.
KERRIL: How did you know I was here?
VILA: Sorry?
KERRIL: When I first came in -- how did you know I was here?
VILA: I heard you.
KERRIL: No, you didn't.
VILA: Psychic.
KERRIL: For a thief, you lie badly.
[Avon and Cally see a lone native woman]
CALLY: Let me do it. I won't scare her so much.
AVON: All right, but be careful. Remember how they fooled Tarrant.
And Cally -- don't get between her and me.
[Cally approaches woman, who looks up. Cally sees a soldier]
CALLY: Avon! [Avon shoots soldier]
AVON: Seems we're not the only strangers on this planet.
CALLY: That could explain a lot.
AVON: The woman is still with us. Is she trying to bluff her way out?
CALLY: I don't think so. She just doesn't care about us. It was the
same when she first saw me. Polite disinterest. We're not
important to her.
AVON: So let's find out what is important to her.
[in the room]
VILA: [to Norl] What were you looking so pleased about? Bayban isn't
going to share whatever's in there, you know.
NORL: That's true. Bayban will not share it.
VILA: Where does that corridor lead? Can we get out that way? Now
look, I'm not the only one in trouble here, you know. I wouldn't
give a scoop of slime for you and your friends once I get that
open. Bayban's insane, you realize that. Once he gets his hands
on the loot, he won't need any of us. He'll kill us all. How many
men have you got that can fight? [Norl turns away] You better
listen to me. I'll tell him you were in here. I'll tell him it's
all a plot. You're just using him to get that open.
[Norl turns back towards Vila] Yes. You know how he'd react
to that, don't you? You don't mean that really is what's going
on? That'd make you crazier than him.
SHERM: [looking in] Crazier than who?
VILA: You.
SHERM: What? [menaces Vila]
VILA: Baybe would not be pleased.
SHERM: Baybe?
VILA: That's what his mother called him, didn't you know?
SHERM: What're you doing here, Norl? This man was to be left alone.
Now get out and do as you're told. [Norl leaves]
[to Vila] You've twenty-five minutes left.
VILA: Who told you that?
SHERM: Captain Bayban.
VILA: I didn't think you could've worked it out for yourself.
Joke! Just a joke.
SHERM: In twenty-five minutes from now you're going to need a sense
of humor. [leaves]
VILA: Maybe you should lend me yours.
[Avon and Cally watch the village]
AVON: They're changing the guard over. Let's find out where the rest
are.
[Kerril, wearing native dress, watches Vila]
KERRIL: You said forty-five minutes, little man.
VILA: Any time now. [turns around, sees Kerril]
KERRIL: What are you staring at?
VILA: I'm not staring.
KERRIL: We've been on the move a lot.
VILA: Yes.
KERRIL: It's the first chance I've had to, well, get cleaned up.
VILA: Right. I know the problem. It's difficult when you're, uh,
moving all the time.
KERRIL: Anything wrong with it?
VILA: Not from where I stand.
[door vanishes with an electric crash]
And there's nothing much wrong with that either!
KERRIL: You did it!
VILA: Of course! For a little man I'm a wonderful mover, wouldn't
you say? Come on! [they go through the doorway]
KERRIL: [whispering] Which way do we go?
VILA: I don't know.
[door reappears]
KERRIL: We're shut in. Vila, we're shut in!
VILA: Don't worry. My man knows we're here.
KERRIL: Your man?
VILA: The designer. He knows we're here, and he knows we're not
stupid because if we were, we wouldn't have got this far.
KERRIL: So?
VILA: So if he wanted to stop us, there's only one way left to him.
KERRIL: What?
VILA: Shh.
KERRIL: According to the locals, this lot is thousands of years old.
You sound as though you're expecting to meet this character.
VILA: He may be dead, but he's still trying to outthink me. Keep
behind me. Step where I step, and don't touch anything. Right?
KERRIL: Right. What are you expecting him to do?
VILA: I'm expecting him to try and kill us.
KERRIL: What?
VILA: Come on.
[they brush against something hanging. Kerril screams]
It's all right, it's all right.
KERRIL: Is it?
VILA: I hope so.
[Avon and Cally approach three of Bayban's men]
AVON: Grenade!
[throws object among men, who take cover. Avon and Cally come up
behind them]
Don't move. It must have been a dud. Sorry about that.
CALLY: All we want is information.
AVON: We've lost a friend of ours. We think you can tell us where
to find him.
CALLY: That's what we think.
AVON: [pointing gun at soldier] What do you think?
[in room]
SHERM: All the guards are in place captain, he can't have got away.
BAYBAN: He must have done.
SHERM: Well I don't see how, 'cause we've searched every tunnel
we can find.
BAYBAN: Take the rest of the men and search the whole city. I want
him found, and I want him found now.
SHERM: [to soldier] Go!
BAYBAN: [to Norl] You. When you were in here, what was he doing? What
exactly was he doing?
NORL: He had not opened the door. And he was afraid. He said that
you were going to kill him. He was looking for a way to escape.
BAYBAN: [to Sherm] Get two men down to the landing site. Get the laser
cannon out of the ship, and set it up in here.
SHERM: The laser cannon? That could blow away half the city, captain.
BAYBAN: Do it. [Sherm leaves] [to Norl] I will have it open. I will have
that door open.
KERRIL: Another door? Is this it? Well?
VILA: I think it's time to go back.
KERRIL: Is it boobytrapped?
VILA: No.
KERRIL: Well, then.
VILA: You don't understand.
KERRIL: That's right, I don't.
VILA: I know this man. If he was going to stop us, he would have done
it already. The fact that he hasn't means that he wants us here.
Don't you see? We're being used. That's what Norl was hiding.
KERRIL: You really are a little man, aren't you?
VILA: Leave it, Kerril. Whatever's in there, we don't need it.
KERRIL: Well try telling that to Bayban.
VILA: I'm going back. Are you coming?
KERRIL: No.
VILA: I think you should.
KERRIL: No.
VILA: All right.
[Vila walks away. Kerril touches the door, and it opens]
KERRIL: [whispering] Vila. Vila.
[Kerril advances and screams, Vila returns, she has disappeared]
VILA: [whispering] Kerril. Kerril!
All right, my friend. But you didn't fool me.
[Vila advances and is teleported to where Kerril is]
KERRIL: Vila. Thanks.
VILA: For what?
KERRIL: Following me.
VILA: Well. I always did have a weakness for nice legs.
KERRIL: I'm sorry.
VILA: It's not what I expected.
KERRIL: [sees corpse] Oh!
VILA: Ugh. He's lost a lot of weight, hasn't he?
KERRIL: Oh, there's another one.
VILA: It's all right, it's all right.
KERRIL: I thought I was alone.
VILA: You come and sit down.
[they hear a replay of their last exchange]
VILA: [recorded] It's all right. it's all right.
KERRIL: [recorded] I thought I was alone.
VILA: [recorded] You come and sit down.
VOICE: The translator unit has identified your language as Terran,
and is translating my words into a form which I hope you will
understand. I regret that we cannot meet in person, but by the
time you hear this, I shall have been dead for over three
thousand years, an almost unimaginable time. As unimaginable
in its way as the journey in which you have now become
involved. If you'll please be comfortable, I will try to
explain what has happened to you.
VILA: It's all right. That's my man. I just want to see what he's done
to us.
VOICE: ... it is called Kezarn.
VILA: Kezarn.
VOICE: And my people will have forgotten that by the time you hear my
voice. As I record this, our society is at the height of its
powers, but economic expansion and social development are
reaching their limits. A collapse to barbarism and a new dark
age cannot be long delayed. We had despaired, but now we have
found a solution. We have developed a system for the
instantaneous transmission of matter over any distance between
two terminals. Enter one terminal and step out of the other
wherever it happens to be. The starship in which you now sit
contains one terminal. The vault which you so ably penetrated
contains the other. You've stepped off the planet Kezarn and
onto a starship, which is now at least three thousand light
years away.
VILA: One small step for man. So how do we get back?
VOICE: The ship is programmed to find us a planet on which we can
begin a new life. It must be a planet in a system with other
planets which we can also colonize. This time there must be no
limit to our expansion.
VILA: We seem to be trapped. I think he's killed us.
VOICE: The vault on Kezarn will protect that terminal during the
generations of barbarism when my people will forget even who
they are. All that will remain to them is a race memory which
we have genetically engineered. Once in every thirty-five
generations, they will gather near the city at the edge of the
world, and one will be found who can enter the vault. My
people will know peace only if he returns. He will return only
if the ship has reached its destination. My friend, if the
ship is still in flight, you will not return to Kezarn.
VILA: I knew it.
VOICE: The air which came with you into this cabin will soon run out,
and you will die.
VILA: Wonderful. Thanks a lot, friend.
VOICE: I suggest you make peace with whatever gods you recognize, as
I will try to make peace with mine. I bid you farewell. And I
hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.
VILA: Not a chance. I'd like to think he suffocated after making
that recording, but I doubt it.
KERRIL: Sorry, Vila, it's all my fault.
VILA: No, you were right. Bayban would never have let me out without
finishing the job.
KERRIL: How long do you think the air will last?
VILA: Well, if we don't move around too much ...
KERRIL: It hardly seems worth trying to stay alive a few minutes longer.
[removes gunbelt]
VILA: Now, look, if you're thinking of shooting yourself or
something, forget it. I don't believe in suicide. It stunts
your growth.
KERRIL: Actually, it wasn't what I was thinking of. [embraces Vila]
[teleport facility]
TARRANT: He's in worse trouble than we thought. Bayban's as bad as you
can find.
AVON: I've heard of him.
TARRANT: I've met him. He's the type that gives crime a bad name.
AVON: Right. That should put us down just inside the city.
DAYNA: Are you sure those three guards can't give the alarm?
AVON: Not unless they can do it in their sleep.
DAYNA: You should have killed them.
AVON: Probably.
CALLY: They could sleep through a war.
TARRANT: That's good, because if it is Bayban down there, a war is what
we'll have.
AVON: Orac, are you ready to maintain teleport function?
ORAC: Of course I am.
AVON: Then put us down, and stand by for further instructions.
ORAC: Very well. Stand by. I'm waiting.
AVON: So are we.
ORAC: Teleporting now. [they teleport]
[Bayban addresses his men in the room]
BAYBAN: Cretins. You are all cretins. I am surrounded by cretins.
Vila and Kerril will be found and brought here to me. If Vila
and Kerril are not found and brought here to me, you [to Sherm]
will be the first to die. Now go and kick some life into the
others. While you've still got legs to kick with!
[soldiers run out]
[Avon, Cally, Tarrant, and Dayna are in a corridor]
AVON: Cally.
TARRANT: Dayna.
[they split into pairs]
[Bayban's men bring in laser cannon]
BAYBAN: Good. Good. Connect it up. Hurry.
SHERM: Try there. [spots Dayna] Over here!
DAYNA: I think they saw me.
TARRANT: How many?
DAYNA: Three?
[Tarrant leaves. Sound of gunshots. Tarrant reurns]
TARRANT: Three. Not very friendly, are they?
SHERM: Right. Keep them pinned down, I'll go and get some more men.
[Dayna holds a device]
TARRANT: What's that?
DAYNA: Something I've been toying with.
TARRANT: Heat-seeking?
DAYNA: I hope so.
TARRANT: Make sure you point it in the right direction.
[device tracks down men, explodes]
BAYBAN: Neevish, find out what that was. Move. [grabs cannon away from
other soldier] You too.
TARRANT: Gaudy, but effective.
AVON: I think war was just declared.
BAYBAN: [to Norl] You. Give me a hand with this. Come on.
[Vila and Kerril wake up]
VILA: We're still alive. Kerril. Kerril, we're still alive! We should
be dead by now.
KERRIL: Are you bragging or complaining?
VILA: The air's as fresh as ever. Do you know what that means?
KERRIL: We're going to die of exhaustion.
VILA: [goes to entry point] Here. [walks to opposite wall] The door
should be here! They walk out of the transmitter, straight out
onto the planet.
KERRIL: What are you talking about?
VILA: He hid the door, right?
KERRIL: To make sure none of his victims did anything rash like attacking
the weakest point of the ship!
VILA: It's here, I know it's here.
KERRIL: If you say so.
VILA: How would he hide it?
KERRIL: Another one of those force fields?
VILA: Right. Set to refract light at the same frequency as the wall.
KERRIL: So it's invisible.
VILA: Yes. Now supposing the ship has already landed, but the
forcefield has malfunctioned. Supposing the door is already
open, but the field hasn't switched off.
KERRIL: Why should we suppose that?
VILA: 'Cause the air's still fresh. Air will bleed through a force
field.
KERRIL: Can we get through it?
VILA: If the energy threshold isn't too low, and the field too thick.
This one tried, but the air ran out on him. Ship was still in
flight. [takes probe from skeleton]
KERRIL: Can I do anything?
VILA: Keep the sweat out of my eyes.
KERRIL: Right.
VILA: No, don't do that, your legs are bad for my concentration.
KERRIL: Oh, you!
[electric crackle, Vila rolls back, howling in pain]
KERRIL: Vila. Are you all right?
VILA: Discharged straight through me.
[they see the outside of the planet through the doorway]
KERRIL: Look!
VILA: Kerril.
[they go towards the open door]
[Avon and Cally shoot down two men]
AVON: Get their guns.
[Avon and Cally enter; Bayban points cannon at them]
BAYBAN: Drop the guns. Do it. [they drop soldiers' guns] Good. I hate to
rush an execution.
AVON: You can't use that in here.
BAYBAN: Stand still. Both of you. You think I'm a complete amateur?
CALLY: A laser cannon isn't very professional.
AVON: You'll blow away half the city.
CALLY: All the city.
AVON: Energy feedback, heat reflection -- you would go with it.
CALLY: It's an open ground weapon. You should know that.
BAYBAN: I do know that.
CALLY: You'd have to be insane to use it, then.
BAYBAN: Well maybe that's it. Maybe I am insane.
AVON: Bayban.
SHERM: [entering] Captain. Captain! They're wiping us out. We've only
seven men left!
[Avon attacks Sherm. Cally overcomes Bayban. Sherm wins and grabs
Cally]
BAYBAN: Finish her.
[Sherm pushes Cally down in corridor, she shoots him]
[Avon defeats Bayban]
AVON: [points gun at Bayban] Bloodthirsty little maniac, aren't you?
Where's Vila?
BAYBAN: I don't know what you're talking about.
[Tarrant and Dayna enter]
TARRANT: Hello, Bayban. I heard a rumor you were dead. Funny, that
turns out to be true.
BAYBAN: Do I know you?
TARRANT: That's the trouble with celebrities. They never remember the
little people.
AVON: Where is Vila?
BAYBAN: Who?
AVON: How would you like me to let some fresh air into that rancid
little brain of yours?
BAYBAN: Go ahead. You'd be famous. The man who killed Bayban.
CALLY: [points gun at Bayban] I'd quite like to be famous, too. How
about the woman that killed Bayban?
DAYNA: Or better still, the girl who killed Bayban.
BAYBAN: I don't know where he is.
CALLY: You can do better than that.
BAYBAN: He disappeared.
NORL: [entering] Only from your sight. We are awaiting his return.
BAYBAN: You mean he got it open? He's been in there all the time?
AVON: Dayna, take our guest outside and watch him.
[Dayna takes Bayban away at gunpoint]
[outside the ship, on the new planet. Kerril is throwing crystals
into a pond]
VILA: You know, Kerril, I really like it here.
KERRIL: I wonder what planet it is.
VILA: We'll probably never know.
KERRIL: Perhaps we should give it a name.
VILA: If you like.
KERRIL: How about... Homeworld. Vilaworld?
VILA: Homeworld. Vilaworld. Yes, Vilaworld.
KERRIL: Homeworld. [she throws crystals into pool]
VILA: Stop. Where did you get this?
KERRIL: They're all over the place, look.
VILA: Kerril.
KERRIL: What is it?
VILA: These are what got me into this in the first place. You've no idea
how much they're worth. [he picks up some]
KERRIL: [disappointed] We're going back.
VILA: When you're ready, there's no hurry.
KERRIL: [angry] Well come on, we've wasted enough time. [walks back to ship]
VILA: Did I say something wrong? Kerril! What's the matter? What did
I say to upset you? [follows her into the ship] Kerril.
KERRIL: What?
VILA: Homeworld. You wanted to call it Homeworld. All right, then
we'll call it Homeworld, it's a good enough name.
KERRIL: Are you playing games with me?
VILA: Games?
KERRIL: Yes. Games. If you think what happened in here gives you the right
to treat me like some sort of --
VILA: Treat you like some sort o' what? I haven't treated you like any
sort of anything. We're out there in the sunshine, when all of a
sudden for no good reason at all you throw a tantrum and go off in
all directions.
KERRIL: For no good reason at all?
VILA: All right then, give me a good reason. I'm a reasonable man. I'll
accept a good reason. I'll accept a bad reason. I'll accept
any damn reason at all, just tell me what the hell it is I'm
meant to have done.
KERRIL: You really don't know, do you?
VILA: Isn't that what I just said?
KERRIL: Oh.
VILA: Oh, please. Can't we stop fighting now? Of all the things I enjoy
doing, quarreling with you comes five hundred and seventy-fourth
on my list.
KERRIL: I'm sorry. Shall we go?
VILA: That list.
KERRIL: Things you enjoy doing?
VILA: You wouldn't be interested in what comes top of it, would you?
KERRIL: You! [hits Vila playfully]
[in the room]
CALLY: [to Norl] Why is it getting darker all the time?
[to Tarrant] How long are we going to wait?
TARRANT: As long as it takes.
CALLY: Feeling guilty?
TARRANT: Yes, a little.
AVON: There are no lighting systems that I can find. I suggest we
leave here while there's enough light to see where we're going.
TARRANT: No.
NORL: Your friend is right. It is time to leave this place.
[electric effect as door disappears]
VILA: [comes through door] Hello.
CALLY: Vila.
TARRANT: Now that is what I call an entrance.
CALLY: Vila, we thought we'd lost you.
AVON: But every silver lining has a cloud.
VILA: I'd say you got that wrong, except I know you didn't.
TARRANT: Welcome back, Vila.
VILA: [Eyes him] Thanks. Oh, This is Kerril.
TARRANT: And welcome back Kerril.
[sound of shot]
AVON: What the hell is that?
[to Dayna, who enters] What happened?
DAYNA: Bayban got away from me.
TARRANT: He'll be making for his ship.
NORL: No! Let him go. He has no men left.
CALLY: But there are still men guarding your people.
NORL: They will have been dealt with. My people are coming. They are
summoned to enter the city.
[bell rings, city lights up]
VILA: That's what this is all about! This isn't a city, it's a travel
terminus. And it's announcing that it's open for business.
[people enter city and pass through doorway]
NORL: The need which grew in us until it blotted out all other needs
is now satisfied. My people are gone, and now I too must go.
VILA: How much of it did you know beforehand, Norl?
NORL: Only that the door to the next world must be opened by a
clever man.
VILA: You tried to get Bayban to do it.
NORL: He came to our world at the right time, but he was not the right
man. Although we realized quite soon that he could not open
the door, yet we knew that he could find someone who could.
So, we encouraged him in that.
DAYNA: By convincing him that the vault contained something of great
value which you didn't want him to have.
NORL: It was no more than the truth. But it became more than the truth
because some of us died before we told him. Vila, you're a clever
man, and brave. My people thank you. And now, I must join my
people.
KERRIL: Wait. May I come with you, Norl?
NORL: You too are brave, and have helped my people. You are welcome.
You are both welcome to come with us.
KERRIL: [to Vila] Well?
TARRANT: Vila, we'll wait on the ship. [Tosses him a bracelet.] Let us
know what you decide.
AVON: Bring us up, Orac. [they teleport]
KERRIL: Are you coming with me?
VILA: I can't.
KERRIL: Why not? It's a chance to be free. You saw that place, it's
beautiful.
VILA: But there's nothing there worth stealing. {Kerril sighs]
No, listen. You know why I neutralize security systems, open
safes, and break into vaults? It's because I can and most people
can't.
KERRIL: To satisfy your ego.
VILA: No, not really. It's just that, it's what makes me, me.
Kerril, a thief isn't what I am, it's WHO I am.
KERRIL: Forget it.
VILA: You wouldn't like what was left of me.
KERRIL: What makes you think I like you at all?
VILA: Because you can't like someone without them liking you back.
And I like you, Kerril, more than anyone. Anyone I've ever
known.
KERRIL: The difference is, I love you.
VILA: Kerril.
BAYBAN: Very touching.
KERRIL: Bayban. [Vila and Bayban point guns at each other]
BAYBAN: You didn't think I'd leave a fortune behind, did you?
KERRIL: There's nothing for you here, Bayban.
BAYBAN: I should have killed you a long time ago, Kerril.
VILA: [to Kerril] Go quickly.
KERRIL: Vila, he'll kill you.
VILA: [to Norl] Take her quickly. Get her out of here. Go. Go!
[Norl and Kerril go through doorway, door reappears]
BAYBAN: No! [grabs laser cannon]
VILA: Don't do that. It's a forcefield! [to bracelet] get me out of here.
[Vila teleports]
BAYBAN: NO! [shoots door, city explodes]
[teleport facility]
CALLY: She escaped safely then?
VILA: Oh yes. To a new life, and all that.
CALLY: Good. We can all get back to business then. [exits]
AVON: Not quite. We still have to find those crystals for the weaponry
systems.
[Vila puts crystals on table]
DAYNA: Avon!
VILA: That enough?
AVON: Yes. I'm impressed.
VILA: Wonderful. That makes it all worthwhile.
AVON: Welcome back, Vila. [exits]
TARRANT: Vila, I'm sorry for what I said to you. I didn't mean it. It
wasn't true.
VILA: To tell you the truth, I don't really care. It's not important
any more.
TARRANT: [to Dayna] What's the matter with him?
DAYNA: If I thought that was a serious question, I'd be very worried
about you. [they exit]
VILA: I think I've just made the biggest mistake of my life.
ORAC: In the light of your previous record, that seems unlikely.
Heh. I would predict that there are far greater mistakes
waiting to be made by someone with your obvious talent for
them.
VILA: Shut up, Orac. [Pulls key] Still, it's a comforting thought.
Let's hope they've all got good legs.