From: blakes7-d-request@lysator.liu.se Subject: blakes7-d Digest V99 #55 X-Loop: blakes7-d@lysator.liu.se X-Mailing-List: archive/volume99/55 Precedence: list MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/digest; boundary="----------------------------" To: blakes7-d@lysator.liu.se Reply-To: blakes7@lysator.liu.se ------------------------------ Content-Type: text/plain blakes7-d Digest Volume 99 : Issue 55 Today's Topics: [B7L] Arkaroo Made A Boo-Boo! Re: [B7L] Flat Robin continues! by Arkaroo Re: [B7L] hodge podge - Avon's manners, so to speak Re: [B7L] Refractions on the Net Re: [B7L] clones and Auron Re: [B7L] hodge podge - Avon's manners, so to speak Re: [B7L] hodge podge - Avon's manners, so to speak Re: [B7L] hodge podge - Avon's manners, so to speak [B7L] hodge podge - sense of humour and might've-beens Re: [B7L] hodge podge - Avon's manners, so to speak [B7L] Flat Robin Continues, By Arkaroo RE: [B7L] Flat Robin Continues, By Arkaroo Re: [B7L] Avon's background-- speculation RE: [B7L] Flat Robin Continues, By Arkaroo Re: [B7L] Avon's background-- speculation Re: [B7L] hodge podge - Avon's manners, so to speak [B7L] Re [ B7L] Limericks (not) Re:[B7L]hodge-podge - Avon's manners, so to speak Re: [B7L] Refractions on the Net ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 07 Feb 1999 18:34:17 PST From: "Penny Dreadful" To: blakes7@lysator.liu.se Subject: [B7L] Arkaroo Made A Boo-Boo! Message-ID: <19990208023417.7931.qmail@hotmail.com> Content-Type: text/plain Substitute "Jenna" for all instances of "Cally" in previous Round-Robin installment. ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 07 Feb 1999 20:19:37 -0700 From: Helen Krummenacker To: blakes7@lysator.liu.se Subject: Re: [B7L] Flat Robin continues! by Arkaroo Message-ID: <36BE57C9.3A0F@jps.net> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Thanks for joining us, 'Arkaroo'and since you've claimed the next chapter, too, we'll see how your scheme unfolds. ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 07 Feb 1999 18:52:45 PST From: "Sally Manton" To: blakes7@lysator.liu.se Subject: Re: [B7L] hodge podge - Avon's manners, so to speak Message-ID: <19990208025245.29924.qmail@hotmail.com> Content-Type: text/plain On the subject of Avon, and getting away with murder, from Avona: >So they are left with: kill him, ask him nicely to express his views >more politely, or put up with him. Or dump him. If they could. And that begs the question of the balance between his undoubted usefulness as a expert on what appears to be everything and his abrasive, divisive personality. >Why option number 2 was never tried, I'm not quite sure. He also has a quite evil sense of humour, and any such request - no matter how carefully worded - would probably result in him wanting to see how quickly he could drive everyone in sight to distraction. Poisonous politeness is an art he probably knows too much about already. >I find it interesting that you didn't include Vila or the women on your >list. Is that because you think fisticuffs is the appropriate way to >resolves issues of bad manners? No, no, no - I just stopped after the first three that came to mind. Actually, your comment surprised me, though I can see why you asked...but I cannot and never could see Blake even come close to hitting Avon, no matter how provoked. Maybe I’m wrong, but I don’t think the thought would even occur to him. (Someone tell me if I *am* wrong, by the way). Here I suppose I was thinking of the fact that, when necessary, he can actually *make* Avon shut up. (Blake can be every bit as arrogant and sarcastic as Avon when he wants to). He doesn’t do it often, but he’s probably the the only one who can. With Gan, as I said, that bit in the Web struck me - it was far worse, I think, than the insults that, I agree, tend to slide off Gan’s back. But the way Avon pushed Gan out of his way, without so much as a look let alone a word, wasn’t thinkingly rude, it wasn’t calculated, it was totally dismissive (and Gan’s look afterward was the nearest he ever came to a glare back). >After all, Blake, Tarrant, and Gan never appeared to be hurt by Avon's comments, Hurt, no - exasperated, sometimes infuriated, however... >so why should they care? (I've been in groups where insulting people was a sign of friendship) Vila, on the other hand, could get his feelings hurt. I think Vila is tougher than that; he also took Avon’s measure faster than anyone else, and gives as good as he gets, quite often starting it - in fact, the Avon/Vila Mutual Disparagement Society is the nearest I see to what you say about a sign of friendship. (They’d both deny it, of course.) As far as the women are concerned, I haven’t seen a lot of 3rd season episodes, but from the others, he did rein in the vitriol, even with Jenna (who like Vila, sometimes starts the slanging match - so why is it Avon always gets the blame???). To go back to the point about feelings, it appears that people who Avon thought he could hurt (Cally & Dayna) he eased up on. He would never believe that he *could* hurt Vila's feelings. ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 7 Feb 1999 20:48:37 +0000 From: "Terry Owen" To: blakes7@lysator.liu.se Subject: Re: [B7L] Refractions on the Net Message-Id: <199902080253.SAA23278@harrier.prod.itd.earthlink.net> Content-type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT An FYI for those who find reading 2-columned pdf zines tiring (this includes me, even though I am an Acrobat proponent) - Adobe has a plug-in that makes it easier for the visually-impaired to read Acrobat files. But it is nice even for those of us who are sighted also, it works by opening a window with just the text from the document. (And saves editors lots of re-working? ) This plug-in is only available for Win3.1/95/NT, though. http://access.adobe.com/access_plugin.html The Windows 3.1file itself is at: ftp://ftp.adobe.com/pub/adobe/acrobatreader/win/3.x/ plugins/beta/accs16b2.exe Terry Owen On 6 Feb 99 Kathryn Andersen wrote: > But, most importantly of all, I have put Refractions #1 up on the > net. You can now download it in PDF (Acrobat) format. (check out the > Refractions page). And before I get a storm of complaints about how > horrible PDF format is, how people can't read it because the type is > too small, and how they have to go up and down for double-columned > pages (which Refractions is), I have to tell you that I spent a > great deal of time tuning the PDF files so that all the stories are > *articles*, so you just click and it will follow the columns > automatically, filling the window at the optimal size. Okay? And > this lot of PDF files is smaller than the lot I did for Refractions > #2, because I did all the titles as WordArt, and didn't embed any > fonts at all. So instead of being 4.7 Meg altogether, it's 1.5 Meg > altogether. Okay? -=-=- owen6511@earthlink.net -=-=- ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 8 Feb 1999 02:17:02 -0000 From: "Neil Faulkner" To: "lysator" Subject: Re: [B7L] clones and Auron Message-ID: <003901be530d$67697f80$d91dac3e@default> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit D.Rose wrote: > This is a theme that interests me immensely. My own personal theory, for >which I'm still marshalling arguments and weighting counterarguements, is that >during one of the early outward expansions of Terrans, cloning technology is >developed to the level noted here. I suspect the CloneMasters were created as >a backlash to control the potentially dangerous technology, and thus the >Federation lost this knowledge, or at least had their access to it limitted by >the Clone Masters. Given that we're on the threshold of cloning human beings right here and now in the real world (if it hasn't already been done), it's ridiculous to think that it might be beyond the Federation's capabilities. Comments by Blake in The Web seem to suggest that the restrictions on cloning and genetic engineering in general are not technological, but legal. And probably engrained into the popular psyche as well. The Clonemasters would then be the biotech equivalent of a Swiss bank - legal with them, if not with us. > It would seem the accelerated development is a nessacary part of the >process, for whatever reason. I rather shudder to think what this does >mentally and emotionally to the clones. An alleviating factor would be the >psionic enhancement, which could serve as a surrogate for the maternal >presence, so to speak. I doubt if the accelerated development is _necessary_, more likely it's an additional feature that can be incorporated if desired. And I wouldn't expect psionic enhancement to be an automatic corollary of cloning - again that would be a separate development. And don't you mean a surrogate for the _parental_ presence? I touched on the issue of cloning and accelerated development in one of those many many stories I never finished. It might be worth quoting a bit here. An Administration detective is investigating a possible cloning crime: "The bulk of each body was what the medical profession called a long pig, a non-individuated cadaver, the archetype of human anatomy. Marakov had never heard of such a thing before, but then she had never considered how surgeons might be trained ... A long pig could be grown in as little as eighteen hours. It was, by legal requirement, non-sentient; technically alive but totally insensate. The heart beat, blood flowed, lungs emptied and filled, but no thought disturbed the withered brain inside the skull ... Marakov had never before appreciated accelerated maturation technology. If a mature adult non-person could be cultured in as little as eighteen hours, then so could a mature adult copy of a real individual. With eighteen hours experience of life. One big baby, the tech she interviewed had said. You'd still have to teach it (he meant 'him' or 'her', but said 'it') to walk, to talk, the lot. Don't expect a healthily balanced individual at the end of it. You'd have to slow down growth and development to something more like normal for that. And what is there, she had asked, to stop anyone with the equipment and raw material to clone themselves a private army? The tech had smiled in the way of those privy to unvoiced possibilities. You, he said, meaning the law. Only the law. Just as the law prevented murder." Neil ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 8 Feb 1999 01:55:57 -0000 From: "Neil Faulkner" To: "lysator" Subject: Re: [B7L] hodge podge - Avon's manners, so to speak Message-ID: <003801be530d$66ba05a0$d91dac3e@default> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Sally wrote: >An interesting point...why *does* everyone let him get away with it? Get away with what, exactly? Avon's behaviour, on the whole, is merely irritating, and well within the boundaries of the tolerable. The whole idea of Avon being a thorn in Blake's side is a gross exagerration. And whilst he may not have been a team player, he was still part of the team. He pulled his weight, he did his share, and when the chips were really down, they could depend on him. If anyone was going to put backs up big time, surely it would have been Vila? Must go, another Billy Goat Gruff is approaching... Neil ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 07 Feb 1999 19:01:31 PST From: "Joanne MacQueen" To: blakes7@lysator.liu.se Subject: Re: [B7L] hodge podge - Avon's manners, so to speak Message-ID: <19990208030131.26231.qmail@hotmail.com> Content-Type: text/plain >Must go, another Billy Goat Gruff is approaching... >Neil Well, you learn something new everyday. That wasn't taught in Trolling 101. Thanks, Neil. Now I know what sound I have to listen for... Regards Joanne ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 07 Feb 1999 20:54:18 -0700 From: Helen Krummenacker To: blakes7@lysator.liu.se Subject: Re: [B7L] hodge podge - Avon's manners, so to speak Message-ID: <36BE5FEA.3045@jps.net> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit Sally Manton wrote: > > On the subject of Avon, and getting away with murder, from Avona: > > >So they are left with: kill him, ask him nicely to express his views > >more politely, or put up with him. > > Or dump him. If they could. And that begs the question of the balance > between his undoubted usefulness as a expert on what appears to be > everything and his abrasive, divisive personality. Good point, I forgot to mention stranding him, or perhaps, simply 'accepting his resignation'. I suppose I didn't think about it for the same reason I didn't give too much credit to killing him. Either way, you are out of a guy who has not only computer skills and technology expertise enough to do fix-it jobs on alien technology and even cobble together a 'gadget' of his own, but lightning reflexes and a tendancy to knock you out of harm's way only seconds after a caustic comment. The kind of guy who will refuse to go to a planet becuase he isn't expendible, and then goes down later to fetch everyone else who was getting expended. And while his personality was abrasive, divisive, I question. He attemped at times to undermine Blake's authority, yet it seemed like often the reaction to the abrasive man insulting them as being mindless followers made them cling more stubbornly to "let's help Blake." > > >Why option number 2 was never tried, I'm not quite sure. > > He also has a quite evil sense of humour, and any such request - no > matter how carefully worded - would probably result in him wanting to > see how quickly he could drive everyone in sight to distraction. > Poisonous politeness is an art he probably knows too much about already. True, true! Now I wish this experiment had been done! Thqat devastatine wit applied to _politely_ making everyone else look like a jackass. It would be one of their funniest episodes, a snigger a minute. > > >I find it interesting that you didn't include Vila or the women on your > >list. Is that because you think fisticuffs is the appropriate way to > >resolves issues of bad manners? > > No, no, no - I just stopped after the first three that came to mind. > Actually, your comment surprised me, though I can see why you > asked...but I cannot and never could see Blake even come close to > hitting Avon, no matter how provoked. Maybe I’m wrong, but I don’t think > the thought would even occur to him. (Someone tell me if I *am* wrong, > by the way). Here I suppose I was thinking of the fact that, when > necessary, he can actually *make* Avon shut up. (Blake can be every bit > as arrogant and sarcastic as Avon when he wants to). He doesn’t do it > often, but he’s probably the the only one who can. Good point. And I enjoy Blake one upping Avon. > > With Gan, as I said, that bit in the Web struck me - it was far worse, > I think, than the insults that, I agree, tend to slide off Gan’s back. > But the way Avon pushed Gan out of his way, without so much as a look > let alone a word, wasn’t thinkingly rude, it wasn’t calculated, it was > totally dismissive (and Gan’s look afterward was the nearest he ever > came to a glare back). I need to re-watch this before I comment. I should like to examine the circumstances. I am generally polite but sommetimes I find it very difficult to get out of other people's way, and very big people seem to think they don't need to move when they are occupying the only route through which a small person can achieve the goal they need to get to. But until I watch it, I will assume you are correct and Avon was just being obnoxious. > > >After all, Blake, Tarrant, and Gan never appeared to be hurt by Avon's > comments, > > Hurt, no - exasperated, sometimes infuriated, however... And that's when they'd rejoin with their own acid comments. And without the obnoxiousness, this wouldn't be the series we kno wand love. Honestly, _all_ of them could be rude, although Avon sort of set the standard... which I suppose goes back to my days of high school trig and calculus, where the students showed they respected each other by constantly telling them what boneheads they were. If they were unfailingly polite, they didn't consider you intelligent enough to banter with... is it a 'geek' thing? > > >so why should they care? (I've been in groups where insulting people > was a sign of friendship) Vila, on the other hand, could get his > feelings hurt. > > I think Vila is tougher than that; he also took Avon’s measure faster > than anyone else, and gives as good as he gets, quite often starting it > - in fact, the Avon/Vila Mutual Disparagement Society is the nearest I > see to what you say about a sign of friendship. (They’d both deny it, of > course.) And what I've found fascinating is that when Vila gets mad at him, Avon turns his face out of everyones sight and gives a smile.. He likes hearing the mouse roar. > > As far as the women are concerned, I haven’t seen a lot of 3rd season > episodes, but from the others, he did rein in the vitriol, even with > Jenna (who like Vila, sometimes starts the slanging match - so why is > it Avon always gets the blame???). There ya go! To go back to the point about > feelings, it appears that people who Avon thought he could hurt (Cally & > Dayna) he eased up on. He would never believe that he *could* hurt > Vila's feelings. I tend to agree, now that you've reviewed it for me. --Avona ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 07 Feb 1999 19:22:48 PST From: "Joanne MacQueen" To: blakes7@lysator.liu.se Subject: [B7L] hodge podge - sense of humour and might've-beens Message-ID: <19990208032248.21474.qmail@hotmail.com> Content-Type: text/plain Sally said: >He also has a quite evil sense of humour, and any such request - >no matter how carefully worded - would probably result in him wanting >to see how quickly he could drive everyone in sight to distraction. >Poisonous politeness is an art he probably knows too much about >already. How true is that last sentence. However, I wouldn't call the sense of humour evil, merely off-beat (his comment on Dortmun's death in "Mission To Destiny" is a good illustration - I can't help smiling, but I'm sure I shouldn't be, under the circumstances). >>After all, Blake, Tarrant, and Gan never appeared to be hurt by >>Avon's comments, >Hurt, no - exasperated, sometimes infuriated, however... With the qualifier that Tarrant seemed to spend most of the third series exasperated by Avon, full stop, so it wouldn't have needed a calculated insult to irritate the junior Toothy One. Senior and junior Toothy Ones get rather tetchy rather easily during that time - how about Tarrant as the sort of person Avon might have been if he'd not chosen a certain direction? Of course, Tarrant has a streak of idealism extant, and I've never considered Avon a long-term candidate for "what if" syndrome. But there is nothing to stop Avon recognising something of himself in his younger years that he had lost since then. Then again, I could simply be generating a lot of hot air though a disinclination to get back to work after lunch... Regards (to the Godmother, as much as anyone else) Joanne ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 07 Feb 1999 21:06:44 -0700 From: Helen Krummenacker To: lysator Subject: Re: [B7L] hodge podge - Avon's manners, so to speak Message-ID: <36BE62D4.2C0A@jps.net> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit While agreeing with Neil's assessment of Avon, I have to take up Vila's defense. > If anyone was going to put backs up big time, surely it would have been > Vila? Being part of the team, you mentioned in Avon's behalf. What about Vila. I can't say I've actually counted, but he's been on a LARGE number of missions down to hostile environments. He doesn't usually get the choice of yes or no, either. It's "Vila, suit up." If he protests, they point out the need for his skills to get into a locked area. Or just tell him to do it. When he doesn't go down, he's usually Mr. Teleport. Okay, he's failed occaisionally. Need to use the loo once, and left the station as a result (can anyone blame him?) Another time, he went to Freedom City; Avon's idea, so the blame has to be spread. Other times he has been clearly at fault: for drinking, for instance. Drinking and cowardice are major character flaws, but he tends to make up for them with useful skills, loyalty, affability, the addition of a completely different point of view from the others, and sudden flashes of courage or intelligence. But yes, his faults have bothered certain people enough that they threatened to space him. ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 07 Feb 1999 20:16:56 PST From: "Penny Dreadful" To: blakes7@lysator.liu.se Cc: egomoo@geocities.com Subject: [B7L] Flat Robin Continues, By Arkaroo Message-ID: <19990208041659.3560.qmail@hotmail.com> Content-Type: text/plain *** The Liberator continued its unscheduled descent. A yellow sheet of melting waste plumed behind them, the rapidly melting urine glacier protecting the Liberator from the heat of atmospheric entry. From Jenna's position, flattened against a wall in front of the main view-screen, she could see the ground rushing towards her. A muffled wail from the teleport room confirmed Vila's awareness of the situation. She closed her eyes and braced for impact. *** With a sound not unlike a firecracker going off in a treacle pudding, the Liberator walloped into the Ankh-Morpork Bog at an astonishing speed. Sheets of displaced peat flew outwards in every direction, raining lumps of sphagnum and the preserved corpses of unlucky sacrificees on the surrounding area, as the Liberator plowed nose-first into the clearing on which the viewing platform, and the unfortunate Lord Radish-Culpepper et al, rested. Finally, it came to rest at the southern edge of the bog, nestled against a grove of Eel Trees. Little pings and larger pops emerged from the still red-hot hull of the mighty ship, as it began to sink slowly into the soft peat. Outside the bog, two disheveled shapes emerged from beneath a small shanty constructed of wattle and daub (with an emphasis on the daub). They regarded the scene before them with interest but little fear. One was quite tall, clad in the shredded remnants of potato sacks. The other was a short, drooling man clad only in a jock-strap made of brambles. 'I reckon we've got another star fallen in the Bog,' grunted Todd Nipples, adjusting his potato-sack tunic. 'Buggerit, millenium hand and shrimp,' said Foul Young Ron, drool running down his chin. Todd sniffed the air. 'I say, old chap, did you have another accident? Smells like old 'Sticky Bladder' Eckwhit after he was crushed by that pregnant mare last Soul Cake Tuesday.' Tightening his rags about him, Todd began walking towards the steaming crater. 'Anyways, there's always lots of good eating on a star. Let's get going.' 'Buggerit.' 'Exactly.' Through the underbrush, the pair could hear the sounds of an animal pushing its way past the tangles of Poke-Bush and Strangle-Vine. With many a guttural sound, a hideous brown figure lurched from the thicket. It was covered with a mass of peat, oil, thorns, and what appeared to be aeons old uric acid crystals. 'Buh... fuh!' the figure grunted, waving his arms back towards the steaming crater. 'M'nuh uh suh tuh buh-duh-BOOM!' 'Oh dear,' said Todd. 'Really?' 'Muh guh whuh HUH guh duh? Muh nuh uh Vuhuh.' said the figure, folding gently to the ground. 'I'm quite sure that would hurt, Mr... Vila, you said?' asked Todd. He held out a solid steel flask, oddly corroded, to Vila. ' Here, have a taste of this, lad. It'll put you back on your feet.' Vila opened the flask gingerly, and peered at the gently steaming contents. 'Whuh... I mean, what is this, anyways?' 'It be Scumble, me boy. Good stuff -- lots of apples in it. Among other things.' 'Well, then, mustn't be impolite.' Raising the flask in a toast, he downed the contents. Gently belching, he handed the empty flask back to Todd. 'It's quite nice. Very... appley.' Todd looked at him in horror. 'Good lord, man, you just drank five cubic inches of Scumble! Why hasn't your sphincter fallen out?' Vila looked at him oddly. 'Eh?' Having finally extracted all remaining plugs of peat from her eyes, ears, nose and throat, Jenna stumbled forward from the underbrush towards the shanty. 'Listen,' said Jenna, 'We need to get that ship out of that bog immediately. If the Federation detected that energy-flare when our main propulsion units blew... well, best not to think of that. Excuse me, Mister...?' 'Nipples. Todd Nipples. Or even, Todd 'Small Ears' Nipples, if you like.' 'Um. Well, Mister Nipples, do you know where we might be able to find some... help?' 'Och, thas no problem. There's a small tavern just down that there road, just on the edge of the city. You can probably even find some wizards there; they're the ones in the red dresses and pointy hats. They'll help you, without a doubt.' Jenna smiled with visible relief. 'That's good to hear. Vila, shall we go?' 'Eh? What? Who said that?' said Vila, staggering in small circles. 'I've gone blind!' 'Try looking through your eyes, lad,' said Todd helpfully. Vila blinked thoughtfully and peered about the clearing. 'Oh, yes, that works much better. Thanks, little boy. Care for an ice lolly?' he asked, reaching into his trousers. 'Not really. Me and Foul Young Ron've got to start field-dressing that star, right?' 'Buggerit.' 'Quite. Good luck, haha, I'll need it!' squawked Vila, starting off in a haphazard canter towards the city-gates. Jenna followed, occasionally plucking Vila from the bramble patches. Forty-five minutes later, Jenna and Vila stood outside a rather startling example of tavern-ness. A low-roofed, rather sunken building, it squatted in the muck around it like a pimple on the buttock of the world. A sign hanging from what they assumed was the front read, 'The Pullet and Whippet'. 'Jenna, you'd better wait outside. This could get dangerous,' said Vila, tightening his holster. 'Vila, you really are a complete and utter...' 'No, no, don't mention it. Better that I die so that my compatriots might bring down our oppressors, free mankind, and...' 'What was in the flask he gave you, Vila?' asked Jenna. 'What flask?' said Vila, as he walked into a wall. 'Listen, Vila, maybe I should...' 'Oh no, sweet Jenna, I shall be back immediately with dozens of willing volunteers.' Extracting himself from the wall, Vila stepped throught the door of the Pullet and Whippet tentatively, carefully examining his feet to make sure they continued in the right direction. Vila had been in his share of bars in his life (actually, more than his share of bars; more like the population of Earth's share of bars), so he was immediately able to classify this as Urban, Low-Income, Lower- Cleanliness. The only lighting came from smouldering tallow candles set atop half-full tins of tar and oily rags. Tables consisted of livestock crates, some still occupied, overturned and surrounded by cut logs as seats. No-one seated at these tables seemed the sort to be of much help, tending morphically towards either 'filthy drunk' or just 'filthy'. He walked towards a red-robed, large-hatted figure seated at the bar between a short, large-bearded man wielding a well-worn axe, and an individual who appeared to be made mostly of snippets of fruit leather stapled together. 'Excuse me, sir or madam,' said Vila, tapping the figure on its shoulder. 'I was wondering if I could ask for your assistance in a small matter.' The figure clenched his/her shoulder and turned around, revealing a pasty, fearful face, covered with patchy red hair and ill-concealed beneath a crushed pointed hat with the word 'WIZZARD' written on it with peeling rhinestones. 'What is it?' asked the wizard apprehensively. Vila stared at the visage before him in scumble-clouded astonishment, his eyes rolling about in independent directions. 'It's... it's like looking in a mirror,' whispered Vila, running his fingers through the wizard's moustache. 'Goodness, I've let myself go.' The wizard slapped Vila's probing digits away. 'Stop that. You haven't told me who you are, and I always demand introductions before letting people touch my facial hair.' 'It's like this... um... Me and my mates were flying a... sky chariot, and, um, the gods smashed us down here, into a really deep bog, and, well.... we've got a very important political action to take care of.' 'You mean you were in a orbital vehicle that came too close the Sun, plummeted into the atmosphere, buried itself in an extremely unstable area, and you're now looking for able-bodied volunteers to help extract it.' 'Well... yes.' 'And you and your comrades are heavily armed and completely ruthless, not to mention dedicated to a obscure political cause which involves killing those who aren't for you in painful and/or disfiguring ways.' 'Um... yes, that as well.' 'You know what this sounds like a matter for?' 'No.' 'Someone else. Look, a pregnant mare!' cried the wizard, gesticulating wildly towards a point behind Vila's head. Vila turned around, his eyes wide with terror. 'Where? Where?' At the sound of flesh meeting wood, he looked around to see Avon standing over the prone form of the wizard, idly twitching a rather serious looking cosh. Dragging the wizard along by his ankles, Avon made his way to Vila at the bar. 'You see, Vila,' said Avon, 'these people don't respond well to reasonable requests.' 'I see that, now,' said Vila, staring at Avon in apprehension. Avon peered at the stunned mage closely. 'I can see a family resemblance here, Vila. Close set eyes, rat-like appearance... The universe must truly be without guidance if it allowed two of you to exist.' 'Eh?' 'Never mind. Let's get back to the business at hand; I have some people outside I'd like you to meet. Try not to act so much like yourself.' [Arkaroo says it's someone else's turn now.] --Penny "I Swear, I Am *Not* Arkaroo" Dreadful ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 8 Feb 1999 05:49:36 +0100 From: Jacqueline Thijsen To: blakes7@lysator.liu.se Subject: RE: [B7L] Flat Robin Continues, By Arkaroo Message-ID: <39DCDDFD014ED21185C300104BB3F99F10FB01@NL-ARN-MAIL01> Content-Type: text/plain ROFLMAO! Welcome, Arkaroo, to the continuing saga of a ship and a turtle, and what they did together. Just one question. How did Avon get from Ankh-Morpork (where the librarian was about to screw off his head) to that little town in the bog? Or were you planning to leave the explanation to the nasty person who put him in that situation in the first place (namely me)? Jacqueline ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 7 Feb 1999 18:42:39 +0100 (BST) From: Judith Proctor To: Lysator List Subject: Re: [B7L] Avon's background-- speculation Message-ID: Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; CHARSET=US-ASCII On Sun 07 Feb, Helen Krummenacker wrote: > Has anyone ever worked with a story where Avon _was_ political himself > at one time? The Federation thought he was or they wouldn't have > assigned Bartolomew to 'run' him. Further, he must have been doing > something to attract their attention _before_ 'Bartolomw' was assigned, > since B. was Anna, and Avon's motive was supposedly to take her with him > into the realm of the 'too rich to touch'. There have been several takes on this. There's a slash plot (sometimes done as gen too) that comes up now and then which is one of my favourites. Avon and Blake were lovers or close friends pre-series and when Blake's memory was altered, Avon's was too. Because Avon didn't have the trauma of seeing his friends shot all over again, he didn't recover his memory when Blake did. Depending on the story, Blake does/does not recover his memory of Avon until something happens to trigger it. > Why was he afraid of being 'touched' by the Federation? Obviously, he > was aware of its attitude toward people who upset the status quo in any > way, and believed that he might be seen as a threat. Another theory is that in a time of political crisis, any serious crime would be seen as possibly political. eg. Avon wanted large sums of money - they might have been afraid that he wanted to supply terrorist groups with it. Judith's brand new theory is that Anna told them he was political so that she could stay assigned to his case for longer. If it had been just embezzlement, they'd have pulled him in as soon as he was detected. If he was political, they'd leave him watched in case he contacted other people. > Could it be his reluctance to follow Blake may have had its roots in > direct experience-- an interest in rebellion/ political dissent that had > previously been disappointed? It would be very interesting if Avon had > been attracted to Blake's original Freedom Party (was that the right > name?) until Blake publically recanted its efforts. I'm trying to remember the stories that follow Avon and the Freedom party. There's one in The Way Back (gen), I think there's one in Evasive Maneuvers (slash). I know there's more, but I can't recall the exact zines. > Obviously, Avon has always been the sort to try to keep the risks > minimal by hiding his sympathies, but isn't their a saying about a cynic > being an idealist with experience? Judith -- http://www.hermit.org/Blakes7 Redemption 99 - The Blakes 7/Babylon 5 convention 26-28 February 1999, Ashford International Hotel, Kent http://www.smof.com/redemption/ ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 08 Feb 1999 00:46:21 PST From: "Penny Dreadful" To: blakes7@lysator.liu.se Subject: RE: [B7L] Flat Robin Continues, By Arkaroo Message-ID: <19990208084622.18071.qmail@hotmail.com> Content-Type: text/plain Jacqueline sez: >Just one question. How did Avon get from Ankh-Morpork (where the librarian >was about to screw off his head) to that little town in the bog? Or were you >planning to leave the explanation to the nasty person who put him in that >situation in the first place (namely me)? [Penny dons turban, lights incense, greases up the ol' Ouija board and intones spectrally...] Arkaroo responds: The 'Pullet and Whippet' is at the outskirts of Ankh-Morpork (the bog in question being the 'Ankh-Morpork Bog'), and Avon will undoubtedly recount his harrowing adventure in the Mended Drum to Vila presently. Riiiight? [Penny notes that if nothing else she *did* come up with the name of the bar. So proud...] ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 8 Feb 1999 09:36:45 EST From: Tigerm1019@aol.com To: blakes7@lysator.liu.se Subject: Re: [B7L] Avon's background-- speculation Message-ID: <39ad8e87.36bef67d@aol.com> Content-type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII Content-transfer-encoding: 7bit In a message dated 99-02-08 02:19:41 EST, Judith wrote: << Another theory is that in a time of political crisis, any serious crime would be seen as possibly political. eg. Avon wanted large sums of money - they might have been afraid that he wanted to supply terrorist groups with it.>> Even if his embezzlement wasn't politically motivated, I think it was on a grand enough scale to have potetially caused quite a bit of disruption in the federation banking system. << Judith's brand new theory is that Anna told them he was political so that she could stay assigned to his case for longer. If it had been just embezzlement, they'd have pulled him in as soon as he was detected. If he was political, they'd leave him watched in case he contacted other people. >> Interesting idea. It makes me think her behavior was even more selfish in a way. She herself said that anyone he so much as looked at was hauled in. Tiger M ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 8 Feb 1999 16:42:18 -0000 From: "Neil Faulkner" To: "lysator" Subject: Re: [B7L] hodge podge - Avon's manners, so to speak Message-ID: <002901be5382$2464eb00$d41eac3e@default> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Joanne wrote: >Well, you learn something new everyday. That wasn't taught in >Trolling 101. Thanks, Neil. Now I know what sound I have to listen >for... Ah, but by confessing to trolling I was actually disguising the fact that I wasn't really trolling at all. And I wasn't, really. I meant what I said about Avon - there's nothing particularly intolerable about his behaviour, 1st/2nd season at any rate. Admittedly his sarcasm is tempered by the with which he delivers it, and the fact that he is usually right in what he says, regardless of the way he says it. As I recall, he made two overt challenges to Blake's self-appointed authority, both in the 2nd season (at the start of Redemption and at the end of Trial), and in both cases it was not a public challenge, but privately to Blake. I think some people might be confusing this private Blake/Avon dynamic with the public Avon. Can't say any more right now, I've got a norrible job to go to. Neil ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 8 Feb 1999 16:36:12 -0000 From: "Neil Faulkner" To: "lysator" Subject: [B7L] Re [ B7L] Limericks (not) Message-ID: <002801be5382$23c63a00$d41eac3e@default> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="utf-7" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit I am the captain of the Scorpio (And we're sad to say that we're his crew.) I'm very very stern and they've quickly come to learn That whatever I say, they do. (Yes, he's very very stern, and we've quickly come to learn That whatever he says we do.) I've been branded as insane And emotionally in pain 'Cause I kill without pi-tee. But no matter what they say I shall ne'er again betray Any true humani-tee+ACE- (What never?) No, never+ACE- (What never?) Well .. hardly ever+ACE- When a rebel's not about his occupation (occupation) Planning daring strikes against his mortal foe (mortal foe) Such as blowing up a vital installation (installation) Why, he thinks of those he plans to overthrow (overthrow) It is not that he considers them as evil (them as evil) Though he must admit that now and then there's some (then there's some) By and large they're only ordinary people ('nary people) SO HE'S GOING TO BLOW THE LOT TO KINGDOM COME+ACE- This one first appeared in AltaZine: They call me a telepath, alien telepath, And I can understand why. Because I'm a telepath, mystical telepath, That's why I get such naff lines. I am a space rover, I get taken over By aliens twice every week. It's getting quite boring, the others ignoring My eyes glazing up like a freak. I know I'll get captured, I can't say I'm raptured, And though I can always get free It bugs me for hours that my awesome powers Are never that helpful to me. For yes, I'm a telepath, innocent telepath, Elfin-faced telepath I, A sweet-natured telepath, high-minded telepath, Ever so priggish and pi. I'd like for a brief time to drop all this sublime Performance and start being me. To stop quoting sayings and get on with slaying The scum in the great galax-ee. To show I'm courageous and wild and outrageous, Get squiffy or rat-arsed and stoned. But fans would attack it and viewers not hack it, And so I must suffer alone. Because I'm a telepath, beautiful telepath, Little lost telepath I, Just like a telepath, typical telepath, Gods+ACE- What a terrible bind+ACE- ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 8 Feb 1999 18:19:47 -0000 From: "Julie Horner" To: Subject: Re:[B7L]hodge-podge - Avon's manners, so to speak Message-ID: <01be538f$9c4440a0$170201c0@pc23.Fishnet> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Neil said: >Ah, but by confessing to trolling I was actually disguising the fact that I >wasn't really trolling at all. And I wasn't, really. I meant what I said >about Avon - there's nothing particularly intolerable about his behaviour, >1st/2nd season at any rate. Admittedly his sarcasm is tempered by the with >which he delivers it, and the fact that he is usually right in what he says, >regardless of the way he says it. I agree with Neil, he may sometimes be sarcastic, arrogant and stubborn but noone in the crew appears to be particularly put out by it, that is they are all well able to cope. They either ignore it or they give back as good as they get. >As I recall, he made two overt challenges to Blake's self-appointed >authority, both in the 2nd season (at the start of Redemption and at the end >of Trial), and in both cases it was not a public challenge, but privately to >Blake. I think some people might be confusing this private Blake/Avon >dynamic with the public Avon. I see Avon's challenges to Blake as a necessary and healthy contribution, rather than being purely negative. If anyone is in a position where their authority and decisions consistently go unquestioned then, however good and true their aims, they are in a dangerous position. Either they could start to see themselves as infallible and fail to examine their decisions and plans as closely as they should, and/or they have to cope with the additional pressure of knowing that the entire burden of decision making is on themselves with no checks or suggestions from those they lead. On a smaller scale one can experience this in a work situation where any significant piece of work or design you produce has to go through some sort of review process. If you recieve lots of critical feedback it may be a pain to take it on board and perform the necessary rework but, at the end of the day, you feel more confident about the finished piece of work. Avon made Blake justify and explain his actions but this is surely only fair and proper. Julie ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 8 Feb 1999 09:29:18 +0100 (BST) From: Judith Proctor To: Lysator List Subject: Re: [B7L] Refractions on the Net Message-ID: Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; CHARSET=US-ASCII On Mon 08 Feb, Joanne MacQueen wrote: > I've done the Jean Graham story already, but I suspect that I'm just a > sucker for a Jean Graham story (her web site is bookmarked on my > computer at work). But Judith's "Elegy For The Seven" is in front of me > now, and I rather like it, particularly the final stanza, which sums up > the series quite well (I'll take the liberty of quoting, and hope Judith > and Kathryn don't mind too much): No I don't mind. I wouldn't have been willing to see Refractions on the web otherwise. I might have objected if the zine was still in print on paper, but even then, quoting a single verse wouldn't bother me. I'm glad you liked the poem. > > A E Houseman is not a poet I've worked my way around to reading yet, so > can I ask which poem (if it was only one) that inspired it, Judith? 'Epitaph on an army of mercenaries' The first two verses of what I wrote are mostly Houseman wih a few small changes. The later verses are all mine. These in the day when heaven was falling, The hour when honest men had fled, Followed then the outlaw calling, Took the risks and now area dead. Their shoulders held the sky suspended, They held off evil for a day, Whom fate abandoned, these defended, Survival was their only pay. Time will seek to judge as heros, Those who heard no clarion call, Fear and vengence gave them foes, Who else might not have fought at all. History will ascribe them virtue, Claim them for a nobler cause, Every deed with good imbue, And say they fought to end all wars. If you recall with strong affection, Those who lived and laughed and cried, Do not call them good or evil, Simply call them those who tried. > > I'd comment on Kathryn's poem "Migration", which is part of the same > file, but I have a problem there that no amount of printing will cure. > This problem will recur as I keep reading - I've not seen some of the > series that inspired some of the stories and poems! Never having seen an > entire episode of Highlander is going to make that crossover of yours a > bit difficult, Kathryn, but I hope that I enjoy it as much as I enjoyed > the Sapphire and Steel/B7 crossover in issue 2 (never having seen any of > that either ). That's nothing . I enjoyed the Remmington Steele/Highlander crossover and I hadn't seen *either* series. I'm going to be really blatent and quote another poem of mine from Refractions #1. Please note that Rudyard Kipling should be credited for about 90% of it, if memory serves me correctly. (Kipling doesn't get half the credit he deserves. Many people who slag him off have never read him.) To me, it sums up all the reasons why we write fiction after watching the series. I have eaten your bread and salt, I have drunk your water and wine, The deaths that you died I have watched beside, And the lives that you led were mine. Was there aught that I did not share In vigil or toil or ease, - One joy or woe that I did not know, Across the starry seas? We have written the tales of your lives For a sheltered people's mirth, In a different guise - but you are wise, And you know what the tale is worth. Judith -- http://www.hermit.org/Blakes7 Redemption 99 - The Blakes 7/Babylon 5 convention 26-28 February 1999, Ashford International Hotel, Kent http://www.smof.com/redemption/ -------------------------------- End of blakes7-d Digest V99 Issue #55 *************************************