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blakes7-d Digest Volume 99 : Issue 194
Today's Topics:
Re: [B7L] Potential crossovers (was Flat Robin #45 - Part 1 of 6)
[B7L] Potential crossovers (was Flat Robin #45 - Part 1 of 6)
Re: [B7L] Potential crossovers (was Flat Robin #45 - Part 1 of 6)
Re: [B7L] classifying stories / classifying B7
Re: [B7L] Potential crossovers (was Flat Robin #45 - Part 1 of 6)
Re: [B7L] Flat Robin #45 - Part 1 of 6
Re: [B7L] Potential crossovers (was Flat Robin #45 - Part 1 of 6)
[B7L]Deathwatch
[B7L] Tapes
Re: [B7L] Tapes
Re: [B7L] Potential crossovers (was Flat Robin #45 - Part 1 of 6)
[B7L]
[B7L] Flat Robin (AKA 'Gods! Gods!') 46
Re: [B7L]Deathwatch
Re: [B7L] Potential crossovers (was Flat Robin #45 - Part 1 of 6)
[B7L] apologies
Re: [B7L]
Re: [B7L]Deathwatch
Re: [B7L] Potential crossovers (was Flat Robin #45 - Part 1 of 6)
Re: [B7L] Feisty women
[B7L] re: fiesty women
[B7L] Potential crossovers
Re: [B7L] Feisty women
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 18 Jun 1999 09:56:15 +0100
From: Murray Smith <mjsmith@tcd.ie>
To: Lysator <Blakes7@lysator.liu.se>
Subject: Re: [B7L] Potential crossovers (was Flat Robin #45 - Part 1 of 6)
Message-Id: <l03110702b38fb8aaa0ef@[134.226.96.44]>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
>How about a B7/Dr. Who crossover? The TARDIS materializes inside the
>Liberator. Dr. Who (played by Tom Baker) steps out with his companion Sarah
>Jane. Avon finds them and demands that they are locked up, contrary to
>Cally's wishes. However, when Blake and Avon put down on the next planet to
>help some rebel group, they are attacked and Blake is captured by Daleks.
>Avon manages to call for assistance and is teleported back to the ship. He
>discovers, however, that the Doctor has managed to get out of his locked room
>using his sonic screwdriver, of course. The Doctor tells Avon that he is an
>old acquaintance of the Daleks and says that he can free him. Avon
>reluctantly accepts his help, and the Doctor, Sarah Jane, Avon and Vila
>teleport down to the surface. Etc. What do you think?
>
>Gail
A B7/Dr. Who crossover has already been done: 'Rescue Who?' in the
zine 'Horizon 16'. As the title suggests, the crossover happens at the time
of the B7 episode 'Rescue' and towards the end of the Key to Time episodes
in Dr. Who. I recommend it, as it's quite funny, particularly regarding who
caused the death of Dorian and the Doctor's new companion.
Murray
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 18 Jun 1999 03:29:00 PDT
From: Sally Manton <smanton@hotmail.com>
To: blakes7@lysator.liu.se
Subject: [B7L] Potential crossovers (was Flat Robin #45 - Part 1 of 6)
Message-ID: <19990618102900.43204.qmail@hotmail.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed
Gail suggested:
<How about a B7/Dr. Who crossover? The TARDIS
materializes inside the Liberator. Dr. Who (played by Tom
Baker) steps out with his companion Sarah Jane.>
Gail, Gail, dear Gail...I’m shocked. And appalled. (And oddly
gleeful). I thought you were so *fond* of Avon. But forcing
the poor darling to deal with two curly-haired do-gooders
*at the same time* - even the Society for Infliction of
Cruelty to Computer and Electronic Maestros (SICCEM -
yes, I *know* it’s awful but it’s been a long day!) might
baulk at that. Now how do we fudge a bit of time travel,
get a young and eager Tarrant in and give Avon *three*
curly-haired do-gooders to drive him crazy...
Mind you, from what I remember of the woman, I can’t
help thinking it would be a toss-up which of the Liberator
crew would get to murder Sarah Jane. (My money’s on Avon
or Jenna. Or even Blake.)
And of course Vila would pinch the sonic screw-driver.
BTW, what about that awful Australian air hostess - Tegan,
was it? At least she *mightn’t* complain about teleport duty -
but if she did in that voice, even Blake would have to give
in.
______________________________________________________
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------------------------------
Date: Fri, 18 Jun 1999 03:37:33 PDT
From: Sally Manton <smanton@hotmail.com>
To: blakes7@lysator.liu.se
Subject: Re: [B7L] Potential crossovers (was Flat Robin #45 - Part 1 of 6)
Message-ID: <19990618103736.46362.qmail@hotmail.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed
Re my modest Blakes 7/St Trinians suggestion, Joanne
wrote:
<I can think of one B7 character who would be perfectly
happy with that, especially if red fur uniforms were involved.>
Can't *think* who you mean...<eg> Actually, I'm of two
minds whether the sexpot schoolgirls of the movie or the
original and utterly appalling little monsters of the books
would be more fun to watch (yes, I know which ones Vila
would vote for!!)
______________________________________________________
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------------------------------
Date: Fri, 18 Jun 1999 05:55:14 PDT
From: Rob Clother <whitehorse_dream@hotmail.com>
To: blakes7@lysator.liu.se
Subject: Re: [B7L] classifying stories / classifying B7
Message-ID: <19990618125514.88542.qmail@hotmail.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed
>Have you read 'Virtual History', Rob? It's a set of essays about >turning
>points in history and how things could have turned out >differently edited
>by Niall Ferguson. Good stuff.
No -- haven't heard of it. But I'll take a look at it. Thanx!
-- Rob
______________________________________________________
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------------------------------
Date: Fri, 18 Jun 1999 23:08:55 +1000
From: Kathryn Andersen <kat@welkin.apana.org.au>
To: "Blake's 7 list" <blakes7@lysator.liu.se>
Subject: Re: [B7L] Potential crossovers (was Flat Robin #45 - Part 1 of 6)
Message-ID: <19990618230855.C11150@welkin.apana.org.au>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
On Fri, Jun 18, 1999 at 09:56:15AM +0100, Murray Smith wrote:
> >How about a B7/Dr. Who crossover? The TARDIS materializes inside the
> >Liberator. Dr. Who (played by Tom Baker) steps out with his companion Sarah
> >Jane. Avon finds them and demands that they are locked up, contrary to
> >Cally's wishes. However, when Blake and Avon put down on the next planet to
> >help some rebel group, they are attacked and Blake is captured by Daleks.
> >Avon manages to call for assistance and is teleported back to the ship. He
> >discovers, however, that the Doctor has managed to get out of his locked room
> >using his sonic screwdriver, of course. The Doctor tells Avon that he is an
> >old acquaintance of the Daleks and says that he can free him. Avon
> >reluctantly accepts his help, and the Doctor, Sarah Jane, Avon and Vila
> >teleport down to the surface. Etc. What do you think?
> >
> >Gail
>
> A B7/Dr. Who crossover has already been done: 'Rescue Who?' in the
> zine 'Horizon 16'.
*A* Blake's 7/Doctor Who crossover? There's more than one of them, I
can assure you! There's a couple of PGPs, let's see...
- there's the Avontrokerrdred saga by Pat Dunn & Diana Smith (Avon is
really a Timelord who was kidnapped and stranded by the Master when
a child)
- there's my "Alternative Escape" which was an alternative to one of
the Avontrokerrdred stories (PGP, 5th Doctor, Avon & Vila)
- there's another one that I've forgotten the name of, another PGP
one-story zine with the 5th Doctor, I saw a flyer for it once.
And I'd be surprised if there weren't more.
As for what I think of the above plot, it seems too... simple? Too
flat? Why is it always Avon who is supposed to be suspicious, and the
only one so? One of the little tidbits that I liked about Russ
Massey's "Irregularity" (Blake's 7/Sapphire & Steel) (which Una
already mentioned) was that *all* of the crew (except Vila) were
suspicious of Sapphire and Steel when they first revealed themselves.
I think that's more in character - if someone suddenly appears on your
ship (without any normal means of getting there) then you aren't going
to welcome them with open arms (unless you're Vila and one of the
strangers happens to be beautiful).
If the Doctor suddenly appeared on the Liberator, there wouldn't be
very much grist for the plot.
What is actually more typical of a Doctor Who plot, would be for the
Doctor to appear in the middle of a rebelling planet, for him to be
caught by the Federation and immediately falsely accused of murder,
but for his companion(s) to get away and possibly join the rebels.
And of course Blake & co could be mixed up in the revolution too, and
rescue one of the companions. And in the meantime, the Doctor gets
out of his cell with his sonic screwdriver...
Blake and Sarah-Jane Smith would probably get on wonderfully - both
passionately anti-opression.
Or Ace and Dayna could have fun blowing things up together.
Or Romana 1 and Avon could be snooty at each other.
Kathryn "crossover" Andersen
(who goes away for a week and people have stopped talking about
Buffy...)
--
_--_|\ | Kathryn Andersen <kat@welkin.apana.org.au>
/ \ | http://home.connexus.net.au/~kat
\_.--.*/ | #include "standard/disclaimer.h"
v |
------------| Melbourne -> Victoria -> Australia -> Southern Hemisphere
Maranatha! | -> Earth -> Sol -> Milky Way Galaxy -> Universe
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 18 Jun 1999 14:57:16 +0100
From: "Julie Horner" <jihorner@dial.pipex.com>
To: "Lysator" <blakes7@lysator.liu.se>
Subject: Re: [B7L] Flat Robin #45 - Part 1 of 6
Message-ID: <002401beb992$7a4ec920$c44a95c1@orac>
Content-Type: text/plain;
charset="iso-8859-1"
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-----Original Message-----
From: J MacQueen <jomacqueen@yahoo.com>
To: blakes7@lysator.liu.se <blakes7@lysator.liu.se>
Date: Friday, June 18, 1999 5:02 AM
Subject: Re: [B7L] Flat Robin #45 - Part 1 of 6
>The irresistable urge to cast Blake as Peter and Avon
>as Edmund kicks in. But out of Cally and Jenna, which
>one is Susan and which one Lucy?
>
>Oh, silly question. I forgot about the healing cordial
>and Cally's descent into nursemaid <rueful grin>
>
And Gan is nice enough to be Mister Tumnus but
perhaps way too big.
Julie
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 18 Jun 1999 14:59:04 +0100
From: "Julie Horner" <jihorner@dial.pipex.com>
To: "Lysator" <blakes7@lysator.liu.se>
Subject: Re: [B7L] Potential crossovers (was Flat Robin #45 - Part 1 of 6)
Message-ID: <002901beb992$baa398c0$c44a95c1@orac>
Content-Type: text/plain;
charset="iso-8859-1"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit
-----Original Message-----
From: Sally Manton <smanton@hotmail.com>
To: blakes7@lysator.liu.se <blakes7@lysator.liu.se>
Date: Friday, June 18, 1999 11:30 AM
Subject: [B7L] Potential crossovers (was Flat Robin #45 - Part 1 of 6)
>
>And of course Vila would pinch the sonic screw-driver.
>
>BTW, what about that awful Australian air hostess - Tegan,
>was it? At least she *mightn’t* complain about teleport duty -
>but if she did in that voice, even Blake would have to give
>in.
>
If they had that assistant played by Bonny Langford then they would
all be queuing up to push her out of the air lock - or jump out
themselves.
Julie Horner
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 18 Jun 1999 15:04:42 +0100
From: "Julie Horner" <jihorner@dial.pipex.com>
To: "Lysator" <blakes7@lysator.liu.se>
Subject: [B7L]Deathwatch
Message-ID: <002f01beb993$8540cc60$c44a95c1@orac>
Content-Type: text/plain;
charset="iso-8859-1"
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Lat night I was watching "Deathwatch" ( I really like this I
think I will have to move it further up my list of favourites)
Anyway I was wondering about those sensory pads that
the spectators could put on their heads to experience
all the thoughts, feelings and emotions of their chosen
combatant - green for Deeta and blue for Vinny.
What would happen if someone was fool enough to
wear both patches at the same time?
Total mental derangement, nothing as they cancel
each other out, permanent brain damage...
Mike suggested that their brains would leak out
through their ears but I think that was just a
frivolous suggestion.
Anyone any better suggestions?
Julie
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 18 Jun 1999 18:49:45 +0200
From: Jacqueline Thijsen <jacqueline.thijsen@cmg.nl>
To: "'Blakes7@lysator.liu.se'" <Blakes7@lysator.liu.se>
Subject: [B7L] Tapes
Message-ID: <39DCDDFD014ED21185C300104BB3F99F10FBF6@NL-ARN-MAIL01>
Content-Type: text/plain
The store where I get my B7-tapes can't order any past number 15 yet. Does
anyone know when the next ones are due?
Jacqueline
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 18 Jun 1999 18:28:03 +0100
From: "Una McCormack" <una@q-research.connectfree.co.uk>
To: "lysator" <blakes7@lysator.liu.se>
Subject: Re: [B7L] Tapes
Message-ID: <01b001beb9b2$0b138b20$0c01a8c0@hedge>
Content-Type: text/plain;
charset="iso-8859-1"
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Jacqueline asked:
> The store where I get my B7-tapes can't order any past number 15 yet. Does
> anyone know when the next ones are due?
WH Smith rang me today to say that my next two tapes had arrived - these are
Deathwatch/Moloch and Terminal/Rescue (tapes 19 and 20, presumably). They've
been out for just over a week.
Una
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 18 Jun 1999 18:49:51 +0100
From: "David A McIntee" <master@sol.co.uk>
To: <VulcanXYZ@aol.com>, <blakes7@lysator.liu.se>
Subject: Re: [B7L] Potential crossovers (was Flat Robin #45 - Part 1 of 6)
Message-Id: <199906181806.TAA07736@gnasher.sol.co.uk>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
----------
> From: VulcanXYZ@aol.com
> To: blakes7@lysator.liu.se
> Subject: Re: [B7L] Potential crossovers (was Flat Robin #45 - Part 1 of
6)
> Date: Friday, June 18, 1999 5:34 AM
>
> How about a B7/Dr. Who crossover?
Apparently it comes out in November....
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 18 Jun 1999 19:21:50 +0100 (BST)
From: Murray Smith <mjsmith@tcd.ie>
To: Lysator <Blakes7@lysator.liu.se>
Subject: [B7L]
Message-Id: <l03110705b3904cfc7100@[134.226.96.44]>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
Kathryn,
>*A* Blake's 7/Doctor Who crossover? There's more than one of them, I
>can assure you! There's a couple of PGPs, let's see...
>- there's the Avontrokerrdred saga by Pat Dunn & Diana Smith (Avon is
> really a Timelord who was kidnapped and stranded by the Master when
> a child)
>- there's my "Alternative Escape" which was an alternative to one of
> the Avontrokerrdred stories (PGP, 5th Doctor, Avon & Vila)
>- there's another one that I've forgotten the name of, another PGP
> one-story zine with the 5th Doctor, I saw a flyer for it once.
>
>And I'd be surprised if there weren't more.
I was just pointing out that a B7/Dr. Who crossover had already
been done. I was aware of others, but the one I mentioned was the only one
I've read, and the only one I could speak about.<g>
>If the Doctor suddenly appeared on the Liberator, there wouldn't be
>very much grist for the plot.
>
>>What is actually more typical of a Doctor Who plot, would be for the
>>Doctor to appear in the middle of a rebelling planet, for him to be
>>caught by the Federation and immediately falsely accused of murder,
>>but for his companion(s) to get away and possibly join the rebels.
>>And of course Blake & co could be mixed up in the revolution too, and
>>rescue one of the companions. And in the meantime, the Doctor gets
>>out of his cell with his sonic screwdriver...
>>Blake and Sarah-Jane Smith would probably get on wonderfully - both
>>passionately anti-opression.
>>
>>Or Ace and Dayna could have fun blowing things up together.
>>
>>Or Romana 1 and Avon could be snooty at each other.
It depends on which Doctor and therefore who the companion(s) are. My mind
is running along nasty lines, but perhaps an early Doctor with one of the
companions that screamed easily? Jon Pertwee and his companion Jo?<g> The
latter would, of course, be a total liabity to the rebels, but at least she
would know nothing so it would not matter if the Federation captured
her.<vbg>
Murray
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 18 Jun 1999 15:49:59 -0600
From: Penny Dreadful <egomoo@mail.geocities.com>
To: blakes7@lysator.liu.se
Subject: [B7L] Flat Robin (AKA 'Gods! Gods!') 46
Message-Id: <4.1.19990618154851.009e22f0@mail.geocities.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
>OH BOY, said Death. SOMETHIN'S GONNA... DIE TONIGHT!
***
Place: The Jeremy Vellum-Pilkington Memorial Theatre, downtown Ankh-Morpork.
Time: Just before the third (and final) act.
At present a red velvet curtain hangs heavy dividing the audience from the
action.
On this side of the schism uncomfortable costumes are belatedly adjusted,
and garish makeup flakes from the pale debauched faces of professional liars.
On the other side, the actors prepare to perform.
***
"Barkeep, hit ush again!" Lynnette's voice was slurred and slightly tinny.
She snapped her chalky fingers at Suzanne, who obediently reached down the
front of her leather blouse and extracted a sequin-sized gold washer, which
she handed to the proprietor with an affectless smile that made his blood
run cold. Metaphorically, of course -- in fact his blood had been running
cold now for nigh on three hundred years...two hundred ninety-odd of which
had been spent serving in one capacity or another in this venerably
disreputable establishment, 'The Sapsucker and Swallow'.
He nodded wordlessly and pulled another two pints of AB-positive[1] for the
two black-clad women at the bar, who had over the course of the last
several hours produced in payment two small silver screws, a brass nut, and
a microscopic chromium spigot which he had accepted solely for its novelty
value. He didn't ask where they were coming from. Nor was he even remotely
curious. You don't remain sole proprietor of the Shades' sleaziest undead
speakeasy for well over two centuries by having an inquiring mind.
The two former mutoids raised their glasses and clinked them together. "To
the Federation," Suzanne said, and drank deeply. Lynnette froze just before
the liquid touched her rust-tinted lips. "What did you say?" she asked darkly.
"I *said*, 'to the *Federation*," Suzanne repeated, sticking her chin out
defiantly and taking another drink.
Lynnette grimaced. Then she drank. "To the Federation," she agreed. "We
certainly don't seem to have what it takes to cut it *here*."
"I wonder if the limp-haired traitress has succeeded in eliminating *our*
target," Suzanne said. "If she has, our tuition at the Assassin's Guild is
paid for, whether we succeed in whacking Travis or not."
Lynnette scowled at Suzanne over the dregs of her drink. "That's not very
honourable," she said.
Suzanne snorted. "Honourable? We're a couple of convicted criminals who
apparently opted for the easy way out..."
"Maybe we were, you know -- prisoners of conscience," Lynnette suggested
hopefully.
Suzanne sneered at her pasty reflection distorted in the side of her
now-empty glass. Rivulets of dried blood ran down from the sides of her
mouth. "Oh, yes," she said hatefully to herself. "I radiate injured
innocence. A tireless campaigner against those moral legislators who would
dare come between a girl and her sheep, no doubt."
Lynnette shrugged. "Well, you may have been a murderer, you might have been
a martyr, and you could very easily have been both. All I'm saying is that
at the moment you are an Assassin, and taking credit for another's work is
not honourable according to the Assassin's Code."
"But sticking a shiv in a stranger's slats for a steep salary *is*."
Lynnette shrugged again, then reached behind her ear and fiddled with
something. There was a small vaguely sickening metallic sound, and then she
laid a tiny platinum hinge down on the counter. "Barkeep..." Two full pints
were in front of them before the sentence was half begun.
"To the Federation," Lynnette murmured, dabbling a finger in the pink froth
atop her fresh blood. "Do you suppose they'll execute us for desertion?"
"Don't be silly. All our modifications make us far too valuable to kill.
We'll be blanked and buffed and back on the job before you know it."
Suzanne cracked a dead-eyed ghastly grin like a blood-flecked jolly roger.
"Back to cannon-fodder status," sighed Lynnette.
"Back to *civilized* weaponry," Suzanne countered, flipping a small dagger
into the bulls-eye of the dart-board at the far end of the bar.
"Back to playing slap and tickle with Space Commander Travis," Lynnette added.
Suzanne shuddered. "Pity he never showed the slightest interest in the
'tickle' aspect..." She slammed her glass down on the counter. "You're
right, Lynnette, we owe it to ourselves and biomechanical vampire womyn
everywhere to take one more crack at offing the S.O.B."
Lynnette quaffed her coagulating beverage and rose a mite unsteadily.
"Let's go," she said.
"It's a good thing the Assassin's Guild provides porphyretic meals as part
of the residential package," Suzanne remarked as they walked together out
of The Sapsucker and Swallow. "Dining out every night at places like this
could end up costing us an arm and a leg."
***
Now the curtain moves, or seems to, just enough to draw in every distracted
eye. Though the din of the crowd doesn't cease, it does grow marginally
more subdued. But the stage remains concealed.
***
"Now sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
A tale of a long hard slog,
That started from that fascist dome,
And ended in this bog.
The mate was a mighty irksome nerd,
The skipper had a vendetta,
Five prisoners escaped one day,
And set forth to wreak mayhem tageddah..."
"In the name of all that is holy, shut UP!" Syggar howled, writhing
frantically in a futile attempt to dislodge the weight of eight immortal
beings and a mistuned lyre from his chest.
"But Syggar," purred Iudythe, the Goddess of Spiderwebs, "we *are* all that
is holy."
"All that is holy and awake after midnight, at least," amended Ioaenne, the
sultry XXXXian Goddess of Crop Rotation, and hoisted high her fearsome lyre.
"Avon loves me, this I know,
For my telly tells me so,
His temper's short, his nose is long,
That is why I sing this song:
Yes, Avon loves me..."
Syggar screamed.
***
Could it be that something has gone terribly wrong backstage? Admit it,
that is every theatre patron's secret hope when the curtain fails to rise
at the appointed instant. No work of fiction, however finely-crafted, can
hope to compare in terms of dramatic impact with even the most sordid and
mundane of actual catastrophes.
***
"I *say*, Toise, could it be that we've finally lost her?"
By way of answer, Toise removed his hand-sequinned designer space-helmet
and hung it from the end of his plexiglass weapon, which he proceeded to
cautiously raise above the top of the shrubbery within which the pair had
taken sanctuary. Quick as lightning a hobnailed boot punted the helmet to
parts unknown, and almost succeeded in wresting the gun from Toise's grip
in the bargain.
"I don't think so, Krantor," Toise summarized.
Krantor glared balefully into the darkness beyond their prickly sanctuary.
"Look at me," he whined. "I'm all sweaty -- you know no dry cleaning
process has *ever* been invented that can deal satisfactorily with sweat,
this will *all* have to be burned -- I shall never forgive you for
insisting that we set foot on this wretched planet."
"Disc," Toise corrected, and shifted in order to peer in the same direction
as Krantor was glaring. "Yes, that *is* Servalan's vessel."
"What?" Krantor snapped.
"Excuse me, Krantor, I assumed you were examining the large spacecraft
precariously balanced atop that tall tower over there and attempting to
determine by the vagaries of moonlight whether it was the Supreme
Commander's vehicle or merely an anonymous Federation pursuit ship. But I'm
sure the fins gave it away almost instantaneously."
"Quite," said Krantor, who had in fact been examining the expanse of
manicured lawn before him and wondering, in true dome-bred fashion, how
many thousand snakes it must conceal. Toise smirked.
"And I assume your next thought was how *delightful* it would be to get in
that ship and do a little--" Toise licked his lips. "--redecorating."
"Why, Toise," cried Krantor (whose next thought had been, "I hope these
boots are snakeproof"), "you read my mind! Erm, you didn't happen to
overhear how I planned to go about breaking into the ship while you were at
it, did you?"
"Obviously, Krantor, a man of your razor-sharp intellect and renaissance
eptitude would be well aware of the XZ-47 DM (II)'s lone anomalous security
flaw," Toise responded, reaching into his utility belt and extracting
something which he presently began to unfold.
"Well *obviously*, Toise. And that flaw would be?"
"Why, the fact--" Click click. "--that they can be broken into using
only--" Click click...*click*. "--a common household coathanger." Toise
indicated his newly-unfolded specimen of said species and smirked again.
"Now the only problem left unsolved by your inestimable intellect, Krantor,
is--" Toise gestured toward the intimidatingly open tract that lay between
their safe haven and the tower, across which the moon-shadow of Granny
Weatherwax on her broom periodically buzzed. "--how are we going to get
from here to there?"
"Ah, yes," said Krantor. "But no doubt I'm working on that."
***
Backstage was, indeed, chaos.
The Communications Officer of the late Andromedan vessel had ambitions.
None of which even tangentially involved wearing a tutu and impersonating
vermin. So when that wretched slavedriver Peril-Rodent had been called away
to collect a corpse and various accoutrements the Communications Officer
had not hesitated to revert to his true viscous form and depart the
confines of the rat cage, pausing only long enough to wrest his hat (a
rather overdone leopard-print fez) through the bars.
He lurked unseen in the shadows beneath the Stage, upon which the curtain
yet hung massive and still, until he heard the words he'd been waiting for.
Now the Communications Officer moved out under cover of the blinding
footlights, and slithered unnoticed under the front-row seats (this being a
theatre, he was hardly the slimiest, tackiest thing down there) until he
had a good clear view of the human he had heard someone address as "Supreme
Commander". Then he smiled broadly (metaphorically speaking) and slithered
away in search of a dark corner in which to shift shape.
***
"The balcony is always a true theatre-lover's preferred choice of viewing
locale, my boys," Radish-Culpepper explained between wheezes (punctuated by
the sounds of sundry small bones popping back into place) as they mounted
the back stairs once more. "In the balcony one is high above the hoi
polloi, and more importantly well beyond even the most enthusiastic
orator's spittle-zone."
The three of them came to a door marked "Ballconie". As they approached it
was flung fiercely open and a clutch of fops scurried out, beating a hasty
retreat for ground-level.
"We're in luck, boys," Radish-Culpepper remarked, walking out onto the
balcony. "It's nearly deserted except for this little melee playing out in
the aisle, and hey, I just like to think of that sort of thing as a bonus,
dramatically speaking. Come on in, boys, have a seat, I think I saw the
curtain move."
Nigel, squinting as he stepped over the threshold, beheld a large boot
about to meet a pink angora bodice. "No!" he screamed.
"Maybe not," Radish-Culpepper agreed.
***
And still the curtain did not rise.
Avon beat an absentmindedly impatient tattoo on his thigh with his cosh as
he stared at the rich hypnotic folds of fabric that concealed the mighty
Stage. Cally glowered at him. "I had thought that if there was *any*
positive aspect to this latest plot development it was that you had
*finally* been separated from that thing," she sighed.
"I discovered that they sell them in the washroom *here* too," Avon
answered. "Bastard 'The Bastard' has quite a tidy little franchise."
***
"So you're a god, are you?" sneered Bastard "The Bastard" Fitzrogers,
advancing with intent upon the fallen Eddwode. "You think that makes you
better than *me*, do you, mister hotshot deity?"
Eddwode whimpered.
"Get away from my woman, you -- you -- you *bully*!" shrieked Nigel,
hurtling in through the out door as fast as his little legs would carry him
and slamming his head into Fitzrogers' taut washboard gut. The force of
Fitzrogers' abs flexing in response to the impact sent Fitzrogers hurtling
toward the edge of the balcony. And so it came to pass that while Nigel
"The Oil-Slick" Fishmilker fell stunned to the adhesive floor next to
Eddwode, Bastard "The Bastard" Fitzrogers sailed over the balcony railing
and fell with an angry (and, it must be said, perhaps just a wee bit girly)
scream, which was cut short by an unpleasant "shlup".
"Oi!" exclaimed Nigel, whose eyes had only now strayed far enough from
Mulberry's hypnotic pink angora bodice to ascertain that the bosom it
currently barely contained did not in fact belong to Mulberry Nipples.
"You're not my girl. You're not even *a* girl."
"No," said Eddwode, standing up and dusting himself off. "I'm a god. But
thanks for saving my neck all the same."
"Neck, haha, yeah." Nigel tugged at his collar and hurried to the edge of
the balcony where Mulberry, Radish-Culpepper, and Henderson already stood
staring down in horror commingled with relief.
"His quietus he appeareth to hath made head-first in the boiling-toffee tub
of yon candied-apple cart," Mulberry observed. "How improbably ironic a
demise for a rogue who e'er swore that lips that touched sugar would ne'er
touch his."
"The vendor looks kinda peeved," Eddwode observed. "I'd recommend that all
of you slip out the back toot sweet if you don't want to find out first
hand what 'onna stick' entails."
Radish-Culpepper and Henderson did not have to be told twice. Nigel,
however, lingered on reluctantly, plucking at Mulberry's sleeve and making
unintelligible hurry-up noises.
"But shalt thou not accompany myself and mine bold hero Nigel here, o brave
if utterly ineffectual Eddwode, back to the late Bastard's estate whereat I
plan to spend the remainder of the inky night mourning and doing a little
judicious rewriting of the Will?"
"I'm afraid not, sweetheart. I've got a few scores to settle here. You two
kids run along. Remember..." Eddwode stroked his crusty angora bodice
contemplatively. "We'll always have The Jeremy Vellum-Pilkington Memorial
Theatre."
"Let's go let's go let's go," muttered Nigel.
"Fare thee well, mine godly impetuous transvestic stud," cried Mulberry as
she swept toward the exit with Nigel. "I shall never forget you."
"Nor I you," murmured Eddwode as the door swung shut, leaving him alone on
the balcony. "Not until they invent an electroshock therapy that works on
gods, anyhow."
***
Bastard "The Bastard" Fitzrogers leapt to his feet and stared around him
wildly. "That little pipsqueak pervert, I'll teach him to...hey! Where am I?"
WHERE DO YOU SUPPOSE YOU ARE?
Bastard stared wildly about himself. He appeared to be sunk waist-deep in a
sea of fluffy white stuff that extended as far as the eye could see in
every direction.
"I'm dead, aren't I?" he snarled. "Bugger."
CHEER UP, IT'S NOT THAT BAD.
"Not that bad? I am a man of fleshly pleasures," Fitzrogers said sourly,
glowering at the soft tufts of whiteness that swirled slowly about him. "I
find it difficult to imagine finding much fulfillment flitting forever
amongst the clouds."
*CLOUDS*? YOU MEAN YOUR IDEA OF HEAVEN IS SPENDING ETERNITY WAIST-DEEP IN
AN ENDLESS EXPANSE OF WATER VAPOUR?
"Course not. But it looks like that's what it's going to be, doesn't it?"
Death shrugged.
"Baaa," said one of the clouds.
Fitzrogers smiled.
***
Eddwode smiled.
The spinning silver saucer still hovering unobtrusively above the theatre
suddenly began to emit a grating buzz, and an incredibly implausible beam
of sparkly green light slowly extended from its hub down into the restless
audience. It played rapidly over empty seats and startled faces, apparently
in search of a target. Finally it stopped, a long green ellipse running
down the front of the curtain which still concealed the stage.
Then the beam began to narrow.
"Erm, sir, the curtain is beginning to smoulder," Ignatius Peril-Rodent
observed from his position in the rafters high above the stage.
"Dammit, man, you think I can't see that?" snapped Cravat-Lodger, perched
nearby. "Ah well, I guess it's now or never." He dropped a hard candy on
the head of the stagehand far below, and gave the man the signal.
The earth began to tremble.
The curtain rose.
------
[1] Which was all they had on tap, and anyone foolish enough to ask for
anything more exotic would as like as not depart the premises with fewer
fangs than he came in with.
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 18 Jun 1999 13:47:19 -0700
From: "LaughingRain" <LaughingRain@prodigy.net>
To: <blakes7@lysator.liu.se>
Subject: Re: [B7L]Deathwatch
Message-ID: <002c01beb9df$b9837bc0$LocalHost@behemoth>
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charset="iso-8859-1"
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Well, I've always wondered how Vinny had emotions anyway. Did he have an
emotion sub routine?
Peace,
Penny
(Yes, I'm back......)
-----Original Message-----
From: Julie Horner <jihorner@dial.pipex.com>
To: Lysator <blakes7@lysator.liu.se>
Date: Friday, June 18, 1999 7:10 AM
Subject: [B7L]Deathwatch
>Lat night I was watching "Deathwatch" ( I really like this I
>think I will have to move it further up my list of favourites)
>
>Anyway I was wondering about those sensory pads that
>the spectators could put on their heads to experience
>all the thoughts, feelings and emotions of their chosen
>combatant - green for Deeta and blue for Vinny.
>
>What would happen if someone was fool enough to
>wear both patches at the same time?
>Total mental derangement, nothing as they cancel
>each other out, permanent brain damage...
>
>Mike suggested that their brains would leak out
>through their ears but I think that was just a
>frivolous suggestion.
>
>Anyone any better suggestions?
>
>Julie
>
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 18 Jun 1999 20:34:09 EDT
From: Tigerm1019@aol.com
To: kat@welkin.apana.org.au, blakes7@lysator.liu.se
Subject: Re: [B7L] Potential crossovers (was Flat Robin #45 - Part 1 of 6)
Message-ID: <d5a7c920.249c3f81@aol.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
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In a message dated 6/18/99 6:19:39 AM Pacific Daylight Time,
kat@welkin.apana.org.au writes:
> *A* Blake's 7/Doctor Who crossover? There's more than one of them, I
> can assure you! There's a couple of PGPs, let's see...
> - there's the Avontrokerrdred saga by Pat Dunn & Diana Smith (Avon is
> really a Timelord who was kidnapped and stranded by the Master when
> a child)
> - there's my "Alternative Escape" which was an alternative to one of
> the Avontrokerrdred stories (PGP, 5th Doctor, Avon & Vila)
> - there's another one that I've forgotten the name of, another PGP
> one-story zine with the 5th Doctor, I saw a flyer for it once.
>
> And I'd be surprised if there weren't more.
>
> As for what I think of the above plot, it seems too... simple? Too
> flat? Why is it always Avon who is supposed to be suspicious, and the
> only one so? One of the little tidbits that I liked about Russ
> Massey's "Irregularity" (Blake's 7/Sapphire & Steel) (which Una
> already mentioned) was that *all* of the crew (except Vila) were
> suspicious of Sapphire and Steel when they first revealed themselves.
> I think that's more in character - if someone suddenly appears on your
> ship (without any normal means of getting there) then you aren't going
> to welcome them with open arms (unless you're Vila and one of the
> strangers happens to be beautiful).
>
> If the Doctor suddenly appeared on the Liberator, there wouldn't be
> very much grist for the plot.
>
> What is actually more typical of a Doctor Who plot, would be for the
> Doctor to appear in the middle of a rebelling planet, for him to be
> caught by the Federation and immediately falsely accused of murder,
> but for his companion(s) to get away and possibly join the rebels.
> And of course Blake & co could be mixed up in the revolution too, and
> rescue one of the companions. And in the meantime, the Doctor gets
> out of his cell with his sonic screwdriver...
> Blake and Sarah-Jane Smith would probably get on wonderfully - both
> passionately anti-opression.
>
> Or Ace and Dayna could have fun blowing things up together.
>
> Or Romana 1 and Avon could be snooty at each other.
>
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 18 Jun 1999 20:40:16 EDT
From: Tigerm1019@aol.com
To: space-city@world.std.com, blakes7@lysator.liu.se, kat@welkin.apana.org.au
CC: Mac4781@aol.com, s.thompson8@genie.com, v.westall@zen.co.uk
Subject: [B7L] apologies
Message-ID: <c2a61922.249c40f0@aol.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
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Everyone, I'm very sorry. I accidentally hit the wrong button and sent
several posts out before I was ready to.
Tiger M
------------------------------
Date: Sat, 19 Jun 1999 11:00:13 +1000
From: Katling <katling@primus.com.au>
To: "blakes7@lysator.liu.se" <blakes7@lysator.liu.se>
Subject: Re: [B7L]
Message-ID: <376AEB9D.17FFC180@primus.com.au>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
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Murray Smith wrote:
>
>
> It depends on which Doctor and therefore who the companion(s) are. My mind
> is running along nasty lines, but perhaps an early Doctor with one of the
> companions that screamed easily? Jon Pertwee and his companion Jo?<g> The
> latter would, of course, be a total liabity to the rebels, but at least she
> would know nothing so it would not matter if the Federation captured
> her.<vbg>
>
Sarah Jane was a dreadful screamer. Or Victoria for people who remember that far
back. [was she second or first doctor?]
And I think the second doctor might have been one of the most irritating for
Avon. ;)
Of course, there are companions like the one Jon Pertwee had before Jo - the
scientist? She'd annoy everyone. Including Vila.
And Ace + Dayna would be a fantastic combo. ;) Someone write it? Please??
And what about the Brigadier [sp?]? Interestign foil for Avon in the 3rd/4th
seasons. Could work well with Tarrant maybe? Or maybe not.
Dayna and Leela? Now those two could go well. ;) Cally and Nyssa?
Of course, the the 6th doctor and Peri would upset the applecart most
dreadfully. Though they might do ok witht he 1st season crew. [ie, not kill each
other?] ;)
Katrina.
The one who reads with considerable interest but rarely finds something to say.
------------------------------
Date: Sat, 19 Jun 1999 02:22:23 +0100
From: "Neil Faulkner" <N.Faulkner@tesco.net>
To: "lysator" <blakes7@lysator.liu.se>
Subject: Re: [B7L]Deathwatch
Message-ID: <00ba01beb9f7$87d386c0$3914ac3e@default>
Content-Type: text/plain;
charset="utf-7"
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Julie wrote:
+AD4-Anyway I was wondering about those sensory pads that
+AD4-the spectators could put on their heads to experience
+AD4-all the thoughts, feelings and emotions of their chosen
+AD4-combatant - green for Deeta and blue for Vinny.
+AD4-
+AD4-What would happen if someone was fool enough to
+AD4-wear both patches at the same time?
+AD4-Total mental derangement, nothing as they cancel
+AD4-each other out, permanent brain damage...
Ever the boring one, I would suggest that you would receive two sets of
sensory information simultaneously, but only fully experience whichever one
you chose to concentrate on (and you could switch from one to the other as
you pleased). A bit like being in a room with two TV sets on at the same
time, showing different channels. If one set was broadcasting a more
intense form of sensation than the other (pain, for example) then it would
drown out the other until it subsided. (A bit like having a Megadeth
concert on one TV set and John Denver on the other - who do you think would
grab your attention, whether you liked it or not?)
Deathwatch implied that receiving transmissions from the sensornet was a
voluntary and conscious process, so presumably you could walk around with a
disc on your head and function quite normally unless perhaps something
intense happened to the broadcaster. Maybe there were laws against wearing
them whilst driving or operating machinery.
Neil
------------------------------
Date: Sat, 19 Jun 1999 02:22:36 +0100
From: "Neil Faulkner" <N.Faulkner@tesco.net>
To: "lysator" <blakes7@lysator.liu.se>
Subject: Re: [B7L] Potential crossovers (was Flat Robin #45 - Part 1 of 6)
Message-ID: <00bb01beb9f7$88f0dda0$3914ac3e@default>
Content-Type: text/plain;
charset="iso-8859-1"
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Kathryn wrote:
+AD4AKg-A+ACo- Blake's 7/Doctor Who crossover? There's more than one of
them, I
+AD4-can assure you+ACE- (snip)
+AD4-And I'd be surprised if there weren't more.
Also 'The Beeb Budget Cuts' by Jan Harley in Interface 12. The Colin Baker
Doctor and Peri meet the 4th Season crew. Very amusing in places,
especially when Avon announces his intention to go searching for Travis'
eyepatch.
My own take on crossovers is I can take them when they're frivolous, but
only then. I find serious crossovers a complete turn-off, since it violates
the self-contained integrity of both the series involved. (Of course, I'm
speaking as an Acc4 here, so background integrity rules, OK. And yes, I am
one of those people who moan when old war movies paint black crosses on
clapped out British cruiser tanks and pretend they're panzers.) One of the
things that irritated me about 2000AD was their habit of interlocking
several key strips - Judge Dredd, Strontium Dog, ABC Warriors, Nemesis the
Warlock - into one continuous universe, when ideally they should have been
kept apart. (Perhaps because the continuum was established after the series
were long-established, rather than planned that way.)
I gather Terry Nation had a plan at some stage to put the Daleks into a B7
episode. Personally I feel this would have been a catastrophic mistake, and
if it had happened I might have given up on B7 altogether.
I suspect there might be two opposing approaches here. One that, like mine,
sees a subcreated universe as something contained within itself, and the
other approach that, er, doesn't. Not quite sure how I'd define it. I
think it's got something to do with how you perceive the characters. To me,
Blake et al can only really exist within the B7 universe, and nowhere else.
To other people, as many posts have made blindingly obvious, the characters
are readily transplantable to other times and places. In other words, the
characters are more important than the universe they inhabit. I'm the other
way around (and, I suspect, in a distinct minority as a consequence).
Neil
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 18 Jun 1999 20:06:35 -0700
From: Pat Patera <patpatera@netzero.net>
To: B7 Lysator <blakes7@lysator.liu.se>
Subject: Re: [B7L] Feisty women
Message-ID: <376B093B.BB4F4E55@netzero.net>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
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Steve Rogerson wrote:
> Cult Times in the UK has put out a special edition listing its Top 50
> Feisty Fantasy TV Females and Servalan comes in at number 16.
> Seven of Nine won btw.
humph! Servie would eat Seven for breakfast.
and when it comes to fashion sense, leave Seven in the sewer.
oh yuk yuk yuk the mass viewing public does not know the difference
between ballsy and bazooms.
Pat P
http://www.geocities.com/area51/1707
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------------------------------
Date: Fri, 18 Jun 1999 20:08:18 -0700
From: Pat Patera <patpatera@netzero.net>
To: B7 Lysator <blakes7@lysator.liu.se>
Subject: [B7L] re: fiesty women
Message-ID: <376B09A2.493A9CEC@netzero.net>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
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no pat, the mass viewing public does not know the difference
between fiesty and focal points.
Tramila
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------------------------------
Date: Fri, 18 Jun 1999 20:29:05 PDT
From: Sally Manton <smanton@hotmail.com>
To: blakes7@lysator.liu.se
Subject: [B7L] Potential crossovers
Message-ID: <19990619032908.57454.qmail@hotmail.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed
Re a Dr Who/B7 crossover, Murray wrote:
<It depends on which Doctor and therefore who the
companion(s) are. My mind is running along nasty lines,
but perhaps an early Doctor with one of the companions that
screamed easily?>
My favourite Doctor was the second one (I just love Patrick
Troughton), and the mental picture of him on the Liberator
is even more appealing than Tom Baker...as for companions,
wasn't there one a long time ago, I think her name was
Victoria, who *killed* the Monster of the Week by the sheer
power of her screaming (or did I have a very strange dream
many many years ago?).
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------------------------------
Date: Sun, 16 May 1999 10:39:45 -0600
From: "Ellynne G." <rilliara@juno.com>
To: Blakes7@lysator.liu.se
Subject: Re: [B7L] Feisty women
Message-ID: <19990516.105011.10006.5.Rilliara@juno.com>
>Steve Rogerson wrote:
>> Cult Times in the UK has put out a special edition listing its Top
>50
>> Feisty Fantasy TV Females and Servalan comes in at number 16.
>> Seven of Nine won btw.
>
Completely off the subject, but with all the crossover discussion, has
anyone come up with a theory connecting Gary Seven and Seven of Nine? I
have a feeling there are some really great punchlines waiting to be made.
Ellynne
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End of blakes7-d Digest V99 Issue #194
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